Mel Brooks, Megan Mullally - Please Don't Touch Me lyrics

Dream all you want my darling
Of every lustful situation
Those naughty thoughts are fine with me
As long as they stay locked away
In your imagination

You can hug me til I scream
If it's only in a dream
But please don't touch me
You can feel me til I squeal
Just as long as it's not real
But please don't touch me you can stick me
You can lick me
You can pinch me til I'm blue
You can bite me and delight me til I'm blind
You can savage me and ravage me
I care not what you do
If the lovely filthy things you do
Are only in your mind

You can spank me til I'm red
If it's only in your head
But please don't touch me
You can have me don't you see
If it's just a fantasy
But please don't touch me

Oh Freddie, darling
I know that you're a virgin

Yes, for me, science has always come first

And as every guy in New York
Knows - I come first too after our wedding
You'll be oh so glad we waited until then
Take cold showers when you're overstimulated

Anticipation is sublime
And although you might think I'm a tease
Please don't touch me

Oh everybody look! How unique
They're not touching

It must be "Please Don't Touch Me, "
The new dance craze that's sweeping catholic
Girl schools all over the midwest

Oh what fun! Let's try it

Please don't please don't
Please don't touch me

Do not hug us do not drug us
Do not slug us til we cry do not throb us
Do not rob us of our wit's

We won't poke you we won't stroke you
Til we're just about to die

But even in your wildest dreams
Don't dare to touch our tit's
Don't dare to touch our tit's

Don't dare to touch our tit's
Don't touch our tit's don't touch our tit's
Don't touch our

Tit's, tit's, tit's, tit's
Tit's, tit's, tit's, tit's tit's!
Our tit's!

When we're absolutely wed
You can do it til we're dead

Elizabeth!

Til then please, please, please
We're down on our knees

Please keep your hands off these

Please don't touch me

We won't touch you

Please don't touch me

We won't touch you

She's so touchy

OH!