Original Broadway Cast of Groundhog Day, Andy Karl - Stuck lyrics

I have a degree

That's nice

In alternative therapy

Okay

Took an online course for a week or two

Maybe we should -

I think we should begin with
A nice bit of Reiki

Reiki?

Unblock your Chi

What's Chi?

It's doo be doo be tra la la
It's holistic therapy

What does that mean?

It's energy vibrations and something magnets
And doo-be-diddly-pom-pom-pom now piss

What?

Piss

I just -

Piss into this

I don't have -

I'll analyze your isotopes
And something, something, quantum, quantum

I'm stuck i'm just -

I think you're allergic to gluten

Stuck, I'm
It's like I feel like I'm trapped in a loop
Like I'm unstuck in time

Well I think cutting out gluten

I'm

Is the smartest solution

Fine

That or a diet of soup

Soup?

Made of rhino foreskin

I think I've lost my mind

How about

I can't seem to find my way out of

An enema?

What?

Would you like an enema?

Existentially, I'm -

Some essential oils

Essentially, I'm -

Organic teas

Who needs enemas with friends like -?

I don't even know if I
Believe what I'm sayin'
This guy is clearly nuts but he
Is desperate and he's payin'
Statistically he might as well be
Sittin' home and prayin'
For all the good that I can do
I don't have a frickin' clue what I'm doin'
Though there are things that
We just don't know
It doesn't mean you shouldn't give
Giving an answer a go

Now open your buttocks a wee bit

I'm not sure how this will help

Just want to get to the bottom of it

I'm stuck i'm just stuck

I have a PhD

Finally

In psychiatric pharmacology
I specialize in mental illness -

Good

In cows

What?

Let's treat your depression
With a course of Fluoxitol

I'm not depressed

You're not?

No!

You must be delusional
So take some Acepromazine
And a couple of Clocapromine
And quietly, I'd advise ya
To try this tranquilizer
Although maybe you should just take half

Okay

It says whole ones for cows

I'm not a -

And half for calves

Right

I don't even know if I
Believe what I'm sayin'
This guy is clearly nuts but he
Is desperate and he's payin'
Statistically he might as well be
Sittin' home and prayin'
For all the good that I can do
I don't have a friggin' clue

In my medicine cupboard
There's a bunch of L ron Hubbard

There are only twelve steps and
They shouldn't take long

We just need a sample of
Your stool and your semen

You have Satan within you
We must exorcise your demons

Take this pill

Read this book

Eat your vegetables uncooked

It's your karma

It's just toxins

It's for constipated oxens

Well that ought to loosen you up

I am stuck fuck, okay

One: I'm still sleeping and
This I'm just dreaming

And two: it's a prank
And everyone's in on it

Three: it's a flashback from when
I was twenty and
Ate magic mushrooms and thought I was Aquaman
Four: it's some kind of reality show
Five: it's amnesia six: it's a stroke

I don't even know if I
Believe what I'm sayin'
This guy is clearly nuts but he
Is desperate and he's payin'
Statistically he might as well be
Sittin' home and prayin'
For all the good that I can do
I don't have a frickin' clue what I'm doin'

Though there are things that
We just don't know
It doesn't mean you shouldn't give
Giving an answer a go
You just have to open your mind

That'll be five hundred bucks

What the f -

A check is fine

Fine

Karma

Toxins

Enema

Oxen

Jesus

Xenu

Alcohol!