Ryan Oakes - SAVE MYSELF lyrics

I hang my head
Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine
Right now, I'm saving my breath
I'm sick of wasting my time
This for all the times that I bled
And all the pain that I felt
I'll use the lies that I'm
Fed to fuckin' save myself

Scared to pick that lock
That's hiding my subconscious
Way too young to be knowing
All of these toxins twelve years old
I was sippin' on concoctions
Tryna tell the world that I think
I'm all out of options
Screaming out for help with
The whole world watching
It was entertaining, it fueled their gossip
I was just a little kid
When I flipped that faucet, went unconscious
Like fuck it I'ma found out who God is
No one ever found out about that day
So they kept on giving me back pains
They didn't care if I was
Stuck in a bad place it made my brain sicker
Than the Black Plague, now
I'm having panic attacks when I'm
Alone and I don't sleep
Fingers down my throat between the
Meals I wouldn't eat
When I hit rock bottom
And I wanted to retreat
I just crawled back up to my damn feet

I hang my head
Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine
Right now, I'm saving my breath
I'm sick of wasting my time
This for all the times that I bled
And all the pain that I felt
I'll use the lies that I'm
Fed to fuckin' save myself

I hang my head
Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine
Right now, I'm saving my breath
I'm sick of wasting my time
This for all the times that I bled
And all the pain that I felt
I'll use the lies that I'm
Fed to fuckin' save myself

Bottled up inside
I never learned a way to grieve
Can't blame myself
'cause ever since I was a teen
Everyone I found too close to me would leave
I would hold on too long
Even when they'd cheat
Happened three times
But the fourth girl was a treat
She manipulated all my insecurities
I would pull her weight for
Weeks while we wouldn't speak
Held up her world while she would
Kick me in the knees
I been thinking hard about that day
When I told her it was our last day together
She decided to take all of that pain
And try to overdose, memory is a bad lane
That I'ma never drive down
She don't deserve it, that's OD
Permanent imprints from all of the anxieties
Still burn my soul so
Bad it's a third-degree
But I'm still not accepting defeat

I hang my head
Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine
Right now, I'm saving my breath
I'm sick of wasting my time
This for all the times that I bled
And all the pain that I felt
I'll use the lies that I'm
Fed to fuckin' save myself

I hang my head
Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine
Right now, I'm saving my breath
I'm sick of wasting my time
This for all the times that I bled
And all the pain that I felt
I'll use the lies that I'm
Fed to fuckin' save myself

I won't break
Break (I guess I'll save myself)
I won't break
Break (I guess I'll save myself)