The Boondocks - The Itis lyrics

Add the butter add the bacon Chicken
Too ooh salt-ee ooh
Add the fish sha ba dabba doo
Ba la la la la la buh-bo ba-bidoo
Mmm-mm-mmm? Mmm
Shibby daba doo-bee-bop Dee da!
Shaba daba baba-bee-bee? Riley, get the door

Granddad, is this the broccoli I
Bought at the store today?

Yep, I cooked it up for you

Oh, you cooked it with the ham!

It's pork-flavored broccoli

Granddad, there's more pork
In the pork-flavored
Broccoli than there is broccoli
We talked about this
Vegetables cooked with pork counts as pork

Hey, Do I smell pork-flavored broccoli?

Hey, everyone mwah
I brought peach cobbler

Eeeew, Miss Dubois
Your peach cobbler look like throw up

Boy!

It do! Look!
It look like throw up with peas in it
Miss Dubois, you been eatin' peas?

Boy, what is wrong with you?

What's wrong with me? What's wrong with her?
She the one who brought vomit over
Here in a Tupperware container

That is not vomit! It just look like vomit
Now apologize to Miss Dubois

Um, Iit- It's okay really

Fine miss Dubois
I'm sorry your peach cobbler look
Like vomit with peas

Damn it, boy!

Guys, please, we don't have to

I don't care if you beat me, Granddad
I won't eat it! That is disgustin'!
It's completely uncalled for!

You'll eat it if I have to
Shove it down your throat!

Really, I didn't mean for it to be

II know what you tryin' to do!
You tryin' to kill me! I hate you!

You are gonna eat that cobbler!
And you're gonna act like you like it!

I don't wanna eat the cobbler!

Best meal I've had in years, Robert
What's this called?

I call it Granddad's pork swine delight
It consists of two pig
Knuckles glazed in honey
Pig tongue marinated in butter for two days
Chitlins, That's pig intestines for
Y'all that don't know -soaked in hot sauce
Drizzled with mayonnaise
And then set to harden on my back
Porch in 3 pounds of cheddar cheese

Mommy? I'm sleepy

Oh, don't worry about that, little baby
That's just "the itis"

The what?

The itis that's what you call it when you
Get sleepy after a big meal

The itis? You know, Robert
I own a little health food
Spot near Meadowlark Park great location
But the food tastes like hot
Armpit on wheat bread
I've been thinking about making a change
You interested?

My own restaurant mm hm

Uh That's a great idea, Robert

You know what's even a better
Idea is a lounge singer i sing, Robert
I could I could sing to the people while they

It should have beds instead of
Tables -so after people eat
They could just pass out

Good idea

We should get together tomorrow and talk

My own r-restra huey, you handle the dishes

I'm telling you, Robert
This is the best location in Woodcrest
I own all the businesses on this block
Everything except Meadowlark Memorial Park
I've been trying to buy that park for years
But the state is trying to
Buttfuck me on the price
But we'll see who buttfucks who

Wow i didn't know Meadowlark Lemon died

Who's Meadowlark Lemon?
I found that the whole health-food thing
Attracts the wrong kind of crowd

Hello, Mr wuncler

Hello

Cutie pie, hello

Excuse me, gentlemen
Would you like to sign our petition to
Get more humane treatment
For immigrant workers?

Chico take an order

Ah, sí, señor

Seventeen pigs, one and a half tons of grease
Sound like a good start?

Mm hm

I need to be thinking urban more Negro
The black thing
That's what's happening now with the kids

Mm hm

Everyone, listen up
I'd like to introduce you to my new partner
Robert Free man we're going to be opening
A soul-food restaurant together

Hey, all right oh, soul food!

Okay, so you are all fired

Ooh

Everyone else, I hate your kind
Never come back congratulations, Robert
This is gonna be great

Uh, Señor Wuncler are we fired too?

Not the Mexicans

I'm half Mexican

Not the illegal Mexicans

¡Olé!

Mm hm mm hm
I present to you "The Luther
A full-pound burger patty covered in cheese
Grilled onion, five strips of bacon
All sandwiched between

Two doughnuts!

Two Krispy Kreme doughnuts
It's called the Luther because
It was supposed to have been invented by Mr
Luther Vandross himself

Luther Vandross is dead

And? What's your point?
Hm?

Is this one of your menus?
Sausage and waffle and fried
Chicken breakfast lasagna?

Yep

Bacon-wrapped chitlin-stuffed catfish?
Granddad, you can't serve this kind
Of food to people it'll cause death

Whoa this is what crack must feel like

Shame on you, Huey move out to the suburbs
And suddenly you too good for soul food
Perhaps you would enjoy a spot of
Cheese and a buttered scone, white boy

Boy? Boy, are you okay?
I'm sure it's just the itis, right?

That or insulin shock do CPR

Riley, wake up!

Yeah, I'm not sure yellin' at
Him is gonna help, granddad
How do you not know CPR?

I tried to learn CPR
But they wouldn't let me cause, I was black

What? Nowadays, y'all run around and learn
CPR whenever y'all want to
Just go around savin' lives
Resuscitatin' each other willy-nilly
But when I was a young man, it used to
Be against the law to
Teach colored folks CPR, okay?

Man, that's not true!

Granddad is that you?

Oh, boy
I thought we lost you there for a second
How was the Luther?

Best thing ever
Sounds like an endorsement to me

Now, look at y'all
Just purty as a couple can be
How many in your party?

Just us

And how long of a nap will you be takin'?

Well, we were thinking maybe 45 minutes

That's just great head on in

Tonight is pork-produced sushi
Hold on to your wasabi as we take you
To a super-exclusive grand opening
Of The Itis!
A new place to see or be seen in Woodcrest
With the maître d' who might
Be causing all the ruckus, uncle Ruckus

En français, my good man
That's Uncle "Rue-kue it's French
I'm part French and Cherokee Indian
With just a splish-splash of Irish

II know Irish sometimes I drink Hennessy
And I make booty calls! All right, Rue-Kue
What's Robert Freeman's secret?

Well, let me just say this here
If there's one thing that a
Colored man is good at, it's cookin' a pig

There you have it

That ain't to say a white man
Couldn't cook a pig better
His big brain just focused
On more important things
Like runnin' the world and spaceships

Ladies and gentlemen, oh
You're such a wonderful crowd
My name is Tommy D, Hip-Hop lounge singer
And I'll be providing your
Listening pleasure this evening
And right now, I'd like to slow it
On down with my main man, biz Markie
Make the music With your mouth, Biz
Ah ah ah ah ah! Ah ah ah ah ah!
Make the music With your mouth, Biz

Excuse me, brother
Mind if I have a word with you about some
Of the so-called "food" you're
Servin' this evenin'

Ee ooh ah ooh ah!

And here's the man himself
Robert, these two ladies wanted to meet
The man behind The Itis

Well! Hello there, cutie pie

Hi, My name is Janet
And I just can't begin to tell
You how fantastic your food is

Oh, Thank you, kindly

Make the music With your Mouth Biz yeah

Listen, I don't want to keep you
But, I'm sure that you will be
Seeing a lot more of me

Bitches love free food, Robert

Oh, my God!

Hey, where you goin'?
Bed four needs more bacon
What did you tell him?
What's behind your back?
Elijah Muhammad's "How to Eat to Live"
I knew it! Just what joy do you get out of
Trying to crush all of my dreams, huey?
Do you know how long I've wanted
To own my own restaurant?

Three weeks, at Sunday dinner
That was the first time you mentioned it
And you only started doin'
The stupid Sunday dinner
Thing because you saw Soul Food on cable
We're gonna pause this for the benefit of
All y'all who never saw Soul Food
Soul Food is a movie about
A big, humongous black grandmother
Aptly named Big Mama
Big Mama demonstrates her love
By feeding herself and
Her offspring enormous amounts of pig lard
Then- Get this
-Big Mama's arteries are so clogged
They gotta amputate her arm

It was her leg!

Right okay, whatever
Leg then she dies of a heart attack
Or another stroke or somethin'

God called her home

And what does the family do after she dies?
They get together for a Sunday dinner and eat
The same food that just killed Big Mama
The same food! They didn't learn a lesson
Nobody went on a diet
And that's the end of the movie

Sunday dinners was my idea
They got that from me

Something wrong?

Look, Ed, I'm sorry
We just lost a waiter, a-and

Robert, relax look around

Well, I still have to replace that waiter

What people soon discovered was
That Granddad's food
Was as addictive as it was tasty
The restaurant was booked solid
Around the clock
People started to show up late for work
Others stopped going to work altogether
Jobs were lost
The Itis addicts who couldn't afford the
Beds moved into Meadowlark Park
Without jobs
They turned to crime to feed their habit
A month after The Itis opened
Meadowlark Park had it's first mugging

No, no! Stop! Stop!
Give me that! Hello?
I've been mugged!

It took 3 hours for the police to arrive
This was officially a bad neighborhood

Straight outta the oven Made
With nothin' But lovin'
Collard greens, corn bread Tater salad
Well, if it ain't homemade
The dish is invalid
My uncle came through With the mail
A truckload of trout Fish fry on wheels
Enough chicken, enough drink Enough food
If you want it
If not We got that kid stuff too
Turn the music up Pass the hot sauce
We're tryin' to play Some spades
Hey, you got some cards?
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout
Now, we can get it crackin'

Ow! You bitch!
Oh, you Stay away from my food!

Hey! Don't damage the floor!

Hey, Granddaddy, it's me

Hey!

Janet we met on opening night

Damn! What happened to you?

Look, I was just wondering if I
Could get a quick Luther burger

Hey, come on, get off me!

Please look, just one

What's wrong with you, woman?
Hey, get off my leg!

You got one in that bag, don't you?!
Please, Granddaddy i'll do anything!

Then take the damn thing! Damn!
That was my dinner

Don't worry about last night
We'll get you some security
This ain't exactly the
Best neighborhood anymore
But we have a bigger problem
We're losing money because you're
Not getting these
People out of here fast enough like him
Get your ass up
Or pay for another hour in the bed! Now!

I can't

Chico!

Oh, God

Look like a bed just opened up

Check this out
I had Chico modify the bed like
The Mexicans do with their cars
They call it "hydraulics watch this

Let's see um, this is my first time here
But all my friends rave about it
What's good?

Oh, everything here will kill you run

Fine you wanna keep playin' around?
Now, you can wash the dishes

Granddad, look what you've done
To this community

It's not that bad

Not that bad?
This place used to sit between a
Coffee shop and a day spa
Now, there's a liquor store and
A damn Foot Locker this food is destructive

This food is your culture

Then the culture is destructive

He's right, Señor Freeman
All African-American slaves had to eat was
The parts of the pigs
The slaves' masters wouldn't eat, but
That was a survival technique, ese
They didn't really have a choice
I don't think people are supposed
To eat this stuff or, at least, not so much
What? I can't take an Afro-American Studies
Class at the community college?

Well, nobody asked you, Chico
This is my restaurant, and we'll serve
The food that I wanna serve, señor

Actually, it's my restaurant
And it's shutting down sorry, Robert
It was fun while it lasted

But, uh, w-what happened?

Granddad learned white people had
Their own survival techniques
They call it litigation
Janet O'Siren had gone from this, to
This and back to this
With the help of two liposuctions
And emergency gastrointestinal surgery

We want half a million for medical bills
And 4 million in emotional damages

We'll pay her insurance deductible

Deal and, um- Ahem
-one last Luther burger

Chico!

Wuncler feared it would be the first
Of many lawsuit's against The Itis
Granddad's restaurant was no more

Mmm, mmm! Oh!

This isn't fair
The people liked this restaurant
And they liked me
I never wanted to hurt anybody

Janet, are you okay?
I think she's having a heart attack

I believe our business is done
Have a nice day call me later, Robert

Hello, My client's having a heart attack

They're not gonna come

Yes, We're on the corner of, um, uh
Cherry Street and- And Fifth
Right across from Meadowlark Park hello?

Told you don't you know CPR?

I'm a lawyer we don't help people
What about you guys? Don't you know CPR?

So I told him
They wouldn't even teach black people
CPR when I was young

We still do the Sunday dinners
I think Granddad just likes being popular
But we do switch up the
Menu from week to week it's somethin'

So, what happened?

Chico saved her

Eh, I took a class

And after this meal, nobody passed out

If you'll excuse me

Robert, may I use-?

Bathroom's upstairs, right?

Huey! Take care of the dishes, okay?
Don't anybody go in the bathroom
For 35 or 45 minutes whew! Open the window!