The Gregory Brothers, Joel Madden - Pure Poppycock. lyrics

You have the charisma of a damp rag!

Damp rag!

You have the appearance of a bank clerk!

Bank clerk!

Who are you? I'd never heard of you!

Eat my poo!

Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you!
But, I have no doubt that it's your intention
To be the quiet assassin
Of European democracy
Perhaps that's because you come from Belgium
Which of course, is pretty much a non-country
We don't know you, we don't want you!
The sooner you're put out to grass
The better!
We don't like you, we don't want you!

Our logic and reason have proved you wrong!

Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong!

Don't make me have to start World War I I I!

Bring it on, these guns are WMD!

We don't know you, we don't want you!
We don't like you, we don't want you!

Last month, comedian Bill Cosby
Was surprised to read that he died

How can he read if he's dead?

Chief Justice John Roberts
Was the last to know he resigned

Maybe he should check his head

All of those stories, of course
Are pure poppycock that proliferated online

I do it all the time
Makin' up shit is so sublime

But that of course is little
Solace for the reader
Who simply wants to surf the web
Without getting pulled under by
A riptide of lies

You can't protect the web
From assholes like me, shorty

Truth can rip through cyberspace
As quickly as lies
Bloggers gnaw at new information like
Piranhas in a pool

Don't play me for a fool
You know as well as I
We're both getting owned by the

Rip-riptide of lies
Pulled under by a rip-riptide of lies
Pure poppycock pure poppycock
I want to surf, surf the web
Without getting pulled under
By a rip-riptide of lies, lies, lies

You hit on a guy at a wedding

II so-

Explain that one first

Okay, so we're at a wedding, New Year's Eve
Everyone had too much to drink
There were 300 people there
I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her
I grabbed a bachelor
Now they're sayin' I groped a male staffer
Yeah, I did

Um

Yeah, yeah, yeah

A manly back-rub just a back rub!

We all live together
All the bachelors and me

Naked in the tub

You can take anything out of context

Huggin'!

You can take anything out of context

Scrubbin'!

You can take anything out of context

Rubbin' and humpin!

Yeah!

Ticklin' and jumpin'!

Yeah, yeah!
I tickled him 'till he couldn't breathe
Then four guys jumped on me
It's my 50th birthday

Whether you're telling the truth or not
An avalanche is coming your way
An avalanche of lies

Pulled under by an avalanche of lies

Pure poppycock

Pure poppycock

Whether you're telling the truth or not

You're guaranteed to get caught

In an avalanche of lies

Massa staffers!
Droppin' a St bernard of truth
But we already drank the brandy
My boss tickles me like a true G
He straddles me so masculine
No stoppin' when I'm askin' him
When he cootchie-coo my armpit's, I'm a goner
Tryna pretend that I don't notice his boner!
Tryna distract him with headlines from China
He just drop his drawers and
Pull out his vagina

Autotune the news autotune the news
Everything sounds better autotune-

I think this is the first time
I have wasted your time
And I apologize for that

Whenever you hear the boss
Swaggerin' down the hall
You know he gonna drop a double
Cup on your tennis balls

You have to be a soldier, a real man
To soothe a male staffer with the
Stroke from a tender hand

Ain't nothin' wrong with a Massa massage
When you're in a chronic
Platonic quintuple menage

The entourage gripped in a bear
Hug that they can't escape
Tryna pretend they don't notice
When he ejacu-

Hey, hey! Over the line

Which part?