Tim Minchin - Cheese lyrics

One, two, three, four- cheese cheese cheese
C-H-E-E-S-E

Cheese i love cheese, but it's plain to see
That cheese doesn't love me
I am such a fool in love
I just cannot get enough
But, it's an unrequited love
I can feel it in my guts

I spend the nights, tossing and turning
My stomach is churning my heart is a-burning
My nightmares are turning upon
Me and shame me
To drive me insane, oh the pain, I complain
On my brain
And I wake up, with sweat on my brow
I know I gotta give it up
And I gotta do it now
But instead in the morning when
My wife is gone

I find myself back on Cheeseworldcom
And I know that it's wrong
But, I'm soon navigating
To the real mature stuff and funky old ladies
Feeding my fetish for fettered old fetta
Photos of friesian on beds of bruschetta
The worse they smell, the more they swing
The faster the speed, my mouth gets wet
Oh god!

Ooh! Oh!

J'adore le fromage
Mais le fromage ne pas adore me
Rien, je ne regrette rien
'Cept perhaps last night's half-wheel
Of double cream brie
Trying to replace my fondues with fon don'ts
Trying to develop strength of will
But, I know that I won't
I have found love is never fair
We should be such a marvellous pair

But each time I bring her home
She goes and renders me comatose
And leaves me self loathing
Slumped on my chair
I cannot camen-bear it anymore
E damn you, mon amour
Everytime I lead you through the door
I end up curled up on the floor
Oh god, my poor heart is too sore
So no more!

But before I give you up
I just need one more tiny taste
To leave you like this
Would be a criminal waste
Just one more tiny taste, darling please
Just one more little sliver of C-H-E-E-S-E
Cheese!

Cheese funky, funky, funky, funky cheese
Cheese! Oh cheese!
Cheese!