Tim Minchin - The Smell of Rebellion (Broadway) lyrics

This school, of late, has started reeking –

Eric -

Quiet, maggots, when I'm speaking!

Reeking, with a most disturbing scent
Only the finest nostrils smell it
But, I know it oh-too-well
It is the odour of rebellion
It's the bouquet of dissent!
And you may bet your
Britches this Headmistress
Finds this foul odiferousness
Wholly olfactorally insulting
And so, to stop this stench's spread
I find a session of phys-ed
Sorts the merely "rank" from the "revolting"

The smell of rebellion comes out in the sweat
And phys-ed will get you sweating


And it won't be long before I smell the pong
Of aiding and abetting
A bit of phys-ed will tell us
Who has a head full of rebellious thoughts
Hold, hold!
Just like a rotten egg floats to the top
Of a bucket of water

The smell of rebellion the stench of revolt

One, two, three, four

The reek of insubordination

(AH) I can't take it anymore
One, two, three, four

The whiff of resistance the pong of dissent
The funk of mutiny in action

That's not right

Before the weed becomes too big and greedy
You really need to nip it in the bud
Position two! Before the worm starts to turn
You must scrape off the dirt
And rip it from the mud!

The whiff of insurgence

One, two three, four

The stench of intent

One, two, three, four

The reek of pre-pubescent protest
The pong of defiance

One, two, three, four

The odour of coup

One, two, three, four

The waft of anarchy in progress

Please, miss, please,!

Once we've "exercised" these demons
They shall be too pooped for scheming
Some double-time discipline
Should stop the rot from setting in!

All right, let's step it up double time
One, two, three, four

Discipline discipline
For children who aren't listening
For midgets who are fidgeting
Or whispering in history
Their chattering and chittering
Their nattering and twittering
Is tempered with a smattering of discipline

We must begin insisting
On rigidity, and discipline
Persistently resisting
This anarchistic mischieving
These minutes you are frittering
On pandering and pitying
While little 'uns like this:
They just want discipline

The simpering and whimpering
The dribbling and the spittling
The "miss, I need a tissue" –
It's an issue we can fix
There is no mystery to mastering
The art of classroom disciplining
It's discipline, discipline –

Discipline!

The smell of rebellion the stench of revolt
The reek of pre-pubescent plotting
The whiff of resistance the pong of dissent
The funk of moral fibre rotting

Imagine a world with no children
Close your eyes and just dream
Imagine – come on, try it –
The peace and the quiet a burbling stream

Now imagine a woods with a cottage
And inside that cottage we find
A dwarf called Zeke a carnival freak
Who can fold paper hats with his mind
And he says
"Don't let them steal your horses no!
Don't let them throw them away no, no, no!
If you find your way through
They'll be waiting for you, singing
'Neigh! Neigh!'"

She's mad!

Aha! And there, just like I said:
The stinking maggot rears his head!
Even the squitiest, pitiest mess
Can harbour seeds of stinkiness
Have you ever seen anything more repellent?
Have you ever smelled anything worse
Than the smell of rebellion?
The stench of revolt
The reek of insubordination
The whiff of resistance the pong of dissent

Discipline discipline no more whispering
Children need discipline
Cut out that whispering
If you're mischiefing she'll sniff you out
Without a doubt she's a snout in a million
Discipline discipline no more whispering
Children need discipline
Cut out that whispering

And I will not stop till you are squashed
Till this rebellion is quashed
Till glorious, sweaty discipline has washed
This sickening stench – away!