Tim Minchin - Cont lyrics

So, yeah, this is, um
This is a new song I've written it's
Kind of a, sort of jaunty swing
Number and it's called, um, "Cont"

I don't like Jews

Neither should you
They're ethically and spiritually poor
That's a fact

I don't like black people

It's just not acceptable
There should be some kind of law that is that

And I get the shit's with Inuit's

They get on my tit's, the little bastards

And women

Just make me so mad, does that make me bad?
Am I bad, is that bad?

And the fuckin' Italians
I just cannot stand them

They really inspire my rancour
Cheating fucking Italian wankers

And lesbians and the bi-curious
Make me furious

It's not their fault, I know, but still grr!

And fuckin' Christians

I just want to punch 'em in their faces

And I'm not comfortable with
Muslims on the tube

And I can't stand publicly
Breast feeding mothers

And I hate gays who talk camp-ly

And the fuckin' Chinese make me angry

I hate the rich i hate the poor
I hate bitches i hate whores

I hate Africans i hate Japanese
I hate the disabled i hate Burmese

Yeah, I don't care about your
Colour or your creed
I will judge you for no reason

I don't like Jews
Who make and distribute kiddy porn
Neither should you
They're ethically and spiritually poor
That's a fact

I don't like black people
Who risk billions of other peoples
Money gambling on future derivatives
It's just not acceptable
There should be some kind of law that is that

And I get the shit's with Inuit's
Who find out what job I do
And regale me with a racist joke or two
They get on my tit's, the little bastards

And women who judge other women for
Not holding the same
Views as them vis-a-vis career and mothering
Just make me so mad, does that make me bad?
Am I bad, is that bad?

And the fuckin' Italians
I just cannot stand them
When they take a dive in the penalty box
Denying Australia it's World Cup spot
They really inspire my rancour
Cheating fuckin' Italian wankers

And lesbians and the bi-curious
Make me furious
When their pride parade blocked the
Traffic flow when my baby
Had asthma and had to go to the hospital
It's not their fault, I know, but still grr!

And fuckin' Christians
Who lean on their horn when my wife
Is being cautious at an intersection
I just want to punch them in their faces
Although my anger is fleeting
I understand their frustration
She's a little too hesitant

And I'm not comfortable with
Muslims on the tube
Who look over my shoulder when I'm reading
And I can't stand publicly
Breast feeding mothers
Who smoke cigarettes while they're feeding

And I hate gays who talk camp-ly
During the final act of King Lear
And the fuckin' Chinese make me angry
When they make sham erection potions out
Of the horns of endangered rhinoceros

I hate the rich who use their
Wealth as an excuse for bigotry
I hate the poor who use their
Poverty as an excuse for bigotry
I hate bitches who get rabies
And try to bite babies
I hate whores who won't accept Visa

I hate African racists
I hate Japanese homophobes
I hate those disabled rapists
I hate Burmese cats

Yeah, I don't care about your
Colour or your creed
I will judge you for no reason
But, your deeds!

So, um