Tim Minchin, Original Broadway Cast of Matilda - Miracle, Pt. 1 lyrics

My mummy says I'm a miracle!

My daddy says I'm his special little guy!
Ow!

I am a princess

And I am a prince

Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky!

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier
No one is as handsome, strong as me

It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge

But, I'm his little soldier
Hup, two, four, free

My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc
Chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer
For a miracle like me ow!

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier
No one is as bold or tough as me
Has my daddy told ya one day when I'm older
I can be a soldier

And shoot you in the face!

One can hardly move for beauty
And brilliance these days
It seems that there are millions
Of these one-in-a-millions these days
Specialness is de rigueur
Above average is average go fig-ueur!
Is it some modern miracle of calculus
That such frequent miracles don't
Render each one un-miraculous?

My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc
Chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer
For a miracle like me

My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina
She has never seen – a! Prettier barrelin–a!
She says if I'm keen
I have to cut down on the cream
But, I'm a barrelina – so give me more cake!

DAD 1: Take another picture of our
Angel from this angle over here
MUM 1: She is clearly more
Emotionally developed than her peers
BOTH: What a dear!

MUM 2: That's right, honey look at mummy
DAD 2: Don't put honey on your brother
MUM 2: Smile for mummy! Smile for mother!
DAD 2: I think he blinked
MUM 2: Well, take another!

DAD 3: Have you seen his school report?
He got a C on his report! ALL COUPLES: What?
DAD 3: We'll have to change his
School the teacher's clearly falling short

MUM 4: He's just delightful
DAD 4: So hilarious mUM 4: And insightful

Might she be a little
Brighter than her class?
Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced!

My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc
Chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer
For a miracle like me

Take another picture of our angel
From this angle over here
She is clearly more emotionally
Developed than her peers what a dear!
That's right, honey, look at mummy
Don't put honey on your brother
Smile for mummy, smile for mother
I think he blinked well, take another!

My mummy says I'm a –

Miracle!

That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a –

Mirror ball! You can be all cynical
But, it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle, a miracle
A miracle as me

Look, is this gonna take much longer
Doctor? I've got a plane to catch
At three i'm competing in
The Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and
Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris

You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood?

Of course I am i always
Compete, doctor, and this time
I've got a secret weapon
Rudolpho! He's part Italian
You know very supple has
Incredible upper-body strength

I think we should have a talk

So, what is it? What's wrong with me?

Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea?

Gas?

Mrs Wormwood, i want you to think very
Carefully what do you
Think might be the cause of – this?

(gasps) Am I am I look, am I fat?

Mrs Wormwood, You're pregnant!

What?!

You're going to have a baby

But, I've got a baby! I don't want another
One isn't there something you can do?

You're nine months pregnant!

Antibiotics, or oh, my good Lord! What about
The Bi-Annual International
Amateur Salsa and Ballroom
Dancing Championships?