Tim Minchin - Thank You God lyrics

I have an apology to make
I'm afraid I've made a big mistake
I turned my face away from you, Lord
I was too blind to see the light
I was too meek to feel Your might
I closed my eyes I couldn't see the truth
Lord but then like Saul on the Damascus road
You sent a messenger to me, and so
Now I've had the truth revealed to me
Please forgive me all those things I said
I'll no longer betray you, Lord
I will pray to you instead

And I will say thank you, thank you
Thank you, God thank you, thank you
Thank you, God

Thank you, God
For fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I had no idea, but it's suddenly so clear now
I feel such a cynic
How could I have been so dumb?
Thank you for displaying how praying works:
A particular prayer in a particular church
Thank you, Sam
For the chance to acknowledge this
Omnipotent ophthalmologist

Thank you, God
For fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I didn't realize that it was so simple
But, you've shown a great example of
Just how it can be done
You only need to pray in a particular spot
To a particular version of a particular god
And if you pull that off without a hitch
He will fix one eye of
One middle-class white bitch

I know in the past
My outlook has been limited
I couldn't see examples of where
Life had been definitive
But, I can admit it when
The evidence is clear
As clear as Sam's mum's new cornea
(And that's extremely clear) Extremely clear!

Thank you, God
For fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum
I have to admit that in the
Past I have been skeptical
But Sam described this miracle
And I am overcome!
How fitting that the citing of
A sight based intervention
Should open my eyes to
This exciting new dimension
It's like someone put an eye chart
Up in front of me
And the top five letters say: I C G O D

Thank you, Sam, for showing how my point of
View has been so flawed
I assumed there was no God at all
But now I see that's cynical
It's simply that his interests
Aren't particularly broad
He's largely undiverted by
The starving masses
Or the inequality between the various classes
He gives out strictly limited passes
Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses

I feel so shocking for
Historically mocking you
Your interests are clearly confined
To the ocular i bet, given the chance
You'd eschew the divine
And start a little business
Selling contacts online

Fuck me Sam, what are the odds
That of history's endless parade of gods
That the god you just happened to
Be taught to believe in
Is the actual one and he digs on healing?
But not the AIDS-ridden African nations
Nor the victims of the plague
Nor the flood-addled Asians
But healthy, privately-insured Australians
With common and curable corneal degeneration

This story of Sam's has
But a single explanation:
A surgical God who digs on magic operations
No, it couldn't be mistaken
Attribution of causation
Born of a coincidental temporal correlation
Exacerbated by a general lack of education
Vis-a-vis physics in Sam's
Parish congregation

And it couldn't be that all
These pious people are liars
It couldn't be an artefact
Of confirmation bias
A product of groupthink, a mass delusion
An Emperor's New Clothes-style
Fear of exclusion no, it's more likely to be
An all powerful magician

Than the misdiagnosis of
The initial condition
Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission
Or a record-keeping glitch by
The local physician
No, the only explanation for
Sam's mum's seeing:
They prayed to an all-knowing superbeing
To the omnipresent master of the universe
And he quite liked the sound

Of their muttered verse
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt
He popped down to Dandenong
And just like that
Used his powers to heal the
Cataracts of Sam's mum of Sam's mum

Thank you, God
For fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum!
I didn't realize that it was
Such a simple thing
I feel such a dingaling, what ignorant scum!
Now I understand how prayer can work:
A particular prayer in a particular church
In a particular style with a particular stuff
And for particular problems that
Aren't particularly tough\

And for particular people, preferably white
And for particular senses, preferably sight
A particular prayer in a particular spot
To a particular version of a particular god
And if you get that right, he just might
Take a break from giving babies malaria
And pop down to your local area
To fix the cataracts of your mum!