Warren Zevon - Mr. Bad Example lyrics

I started as an altar boy
Workin' at the church
Learnin' all my holy moves
Doing some research which led me to a cash
Box labeled "Children's Fund"
I'd leave the change and tuck
The bills inside my cummerbund

I got a part-time job at
My father's carpet store
Layin' tackless strippin' and housewives
By the score i loaded up their furniture and
Took it to Spokane
And auctioned off every last Naugahyde divan

I'm very well acquainted with
The seven deadly sins
I keep a busy schedule tryin' to fit them in
I'm proud to be a glutton and
I don't have time for sloth
I'm greedy and I'm angry and I
Don't care who I cross

I'm Mr bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time and
I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred
And go down in infamy

Of course
I went to law school and took a law degree
And counseled all my clients
To plead insanity
Then worked in hair replacement
Swindling the bald
Where very few are chosen and
Fewer still are called

Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de fer
I threw away the fortune
I made transplanting hair
I put my last few francs down on a prostitute
Who took me up to her room
To perform the flag salute

Whereupon I stole her passport and her wig
And headed for the airport
And the midnight flight, you dig?
And fourteen hours later I
Was down in Adelaide
Lookin' through the want ads sippin'
Fosters in the shade

I opened up an agency somewhere down the line
To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines
But I attached their wages and
Took a whoppin' cut
And whisked away their workman's comp
And pauperized the lot

I'm Mr bad Example, intruder in the dirt
I like to have a good time and
I don't care who gets hurt
I'm Mr bad Example, take a look at me
I'll live to be a hundred
And go down in infamy

I bought a first-class ticket
On Malaysian Air
And landed in Sri Lanka none
The worse for wear
I'm thinkin' of retiring from
All my dirty deals
I'll see you in the next life
Wake me up for meals