Your Favorite Martian - Santa Hates Poor Kids lyrics

I really hate it that my family's poor I
Really wish I was a rich kid
'Cause they always get all the
Pimped gifts for Christmas
Did I get a new Xbox? Fat chance
While Billy gets a new pony and a lap dance
Plus a tree house mansion and a jet ski
How the hell'd he get a pterodactyl?
(Gets me) i thought Christmas was awesome
On and poppin' till Jane got a slave
And Google stock options
And I don't think you understand how it feels
To see another kid roll up in
His Bentley Power Wheels like:
"Look at my new ride Santa just bought it
He didn't get you nothing 'cause
Your mom's an alcoholic" he's right
I got some underwear used by my brother
I'm like Oliver Twist
"Please may I have another?"
I opened up a present
And found an eviction notice man, fuck you
Santa! We're spending Christmas
With the homeless!

Santa must hate the poor kids
'Cause Santa only hangs with the rich
(Come on) santa hates poor kids
Santa hates poor kids
And if you ain't got money
Then he ain't coming
Nothing under your tree tonight

And all I got was a
Charm bracelet with no charms
And a discharged GI joe with no arms
And a drunk stepdad, man, I hate it here
And mom got some cigarettes and
Half a case of beer
We're too poor for Christmas music
(we a capella) and our Christmas tree is
Just a busted umbrella
With a bunch of junk glued to it
This shit is useless
And Ravi said Santa also hates
You if you're Jewish

Santa must hate the poor kids
'Cause Santa only hangs with the rich
(Sing it) santa hates poor kids
Santa hates poor kids
And if you ain't got money
Then he ain't coming
Nothing under your tree tonight!
Santa hates poor kids

Ho ho ho

Fuck you, Santa, you fat motherfucker
How'd you get so big?
You been drinking butter?
Always acting jolly, I ain't buying into that
And why you always trying to get
Kids to sit on your lap?
I heard you touch Scottish
Boys under the kilt hey Fatty Claus
Stop eating my cookies and milk!
Or I'm going to go to the North
Pole and enroll you in gym class
And next year I'm leaving
Diet pills and SlimFast
You see me while I'm sleeping
You creep me out and while you watching me
Why you gotta take your penis out?
So bring it Santa, I'm not afraid to fight
Bitch i'll whoop your ass and take a
Shit on your nice list
I want to take you out in the worst way
If you're a saint
Why'd you steal Jesus' birthday?
So keep your dumb gifts Santa
We don't need you
And tell the Tooth Fairy she's
A cheap bitch too

Santa hates poor kids (come on)
Santa hates poor kids
And if you ain't got money
Then he ain't coming
Nothing under your tree tonight
Santa hates poor kids
And God bless us everyone!
Shut the hell up Tiny Tim, you're not helping