Your Favorite Martian, Nice Peter - Whip Yo Kids lyrics

I don't know if you're aware
But your kids suck ass
You need someone to whip 'em then, ha
Just ask
'Cause they ain't as perfect as you say is
They ain't perfect at all
You raisin' Bebe's kids!
I'm sorry, I don't know you
I don't mean to get pissy
But you need to discipline your bratty kids
You hippy like, "Come here, you little jerk
Taste the back of my palm"
"But you ain't my daddy!"
"Nah, but I'm doin' ya mom!"
Now I know you think they're angels
But they're driving me insane
I'll punch a baby in the face
Just for crying on a plane
Cause I don't mess around
You need to control them or I'll lose it
"But I made you a drawing!"
Shut the fuck up kid, that's stupid
Now I'ma get my truck
I'ma load all my boys in back
I'ma find out where you live and
Break all your toys in half
And I know it ain't your birthday
But when nobody's lookin'
I'ma give you a little present
"What?" An ass-whoopin'!

Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, let me whip your kids
Please, I wanna whip your kids
Please, let me whip your kids
Please, I wanna whip your kids

I never ever thought I'd say a
Kid deserved to get hit but it's obvious
Time-out ain't workin' for shit!
Yeah, I've seen your parenting style
It ain't all that
You gotta hit the little brat
With a wiffle ball bat
'Cause this is obviously more than
Just a youthful rebellion
You gotta belt the little hellions with
A belt when they yellin'
'Cause you don't want me to do it
Cause I'll paint their little brains
All over the wall
When I spank 'em with a chainsaw
And why they actin' wild and loose?
If they deserve the ass-whoopin'
It ain't child abuse
When I'm trynna buy groceries and
They're muckin' up my style
They're like drunken little midgets
Runnin' up and down the aisle
Touchin' everything in sight, and geez
For Christ's sake
I think one of 'em just stuck
His little penis in my cake!
Now I'ma have to put it back and get
A new one and it bugs me
"But Mommy says I'm beautiful!"
Shut the fuck up, kid, you're ugly
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, let me whip your kids
Please, I wanna whip your kids
Please, let me whip your kids
Please, I wanna whip your kids

Please, let me whip your children
Please, let me whip yo' kids
I can't stand kids misbehavin'
Runnin' around and disobeyin'
All they need is a kick in the pants
A punt in the butt
A lesson that'll finally shut 'em up
Please, let me whip your children
Please, let me whip yo' kids

Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, may I whip your kids?
Please, let me whip your kids
Please, I wanna whip your kids
Please, let me whip your kids
Please, I wanna whip your kids
Oh, come on people, it's a joke
We would never hit anyone's kid, come on!
I love kids! Come here and give me a
Hug you little rugrats! Hey, what the what?