Epic Rap Battles of History, Nice Peter , EpicLLOYD, Croix Provence - Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones lyrics

Epic rap battles of history! LARA CROFT!
VERSUS! INDIANA JONES!
Whip crack

Let's get this battle crackin', I'll
Leave you like your reboot, flattened
You used to be the queen of booby trappin'
What happened? You got too woke to be fun
Now my Indianaconda don't want none
There's too many voices inside you
You burn through women quicker than I do!
I think you shoulda dropped
Hollywood as an option
When even Angelina gave you up for adoption
Let's cut to the Chase oh wait, he died
I guess you couldn't tap that X in time
From the Bandicoot to your
Family's plane in ashes
Kid, you've got a tragic
History with crashes!
The puzzlе I'm trying to beat
Is figuring out why you're
Dressеd for the beach!
I've seen more class from the kids I teach
You can rise all you want
I'm still out of reach
So go grab your relics and run!
You verse me is sword verse gun!
Honey, just the first four notes of
My theme exceed everything you've done

Dr jones, you're no rival
You've been getting owned since
"give me the whip, throw me the idol"
Indianaconda? For heaven's sake
You'd shit those Dickies at a garter snake!
You stole your famous leather
Daddy jacket and Stetson
From the cold dead hands of Charlton Heston
Some ladies mistake you for brave and hunky
But, you're such a toxic date
You could kill a little monkey (Ah)
Marion was 15 when you raided her bones
That's no time for love, Dr jones!
This is one temple that
You'll never be exploring
You're not John Williams
So you ain't scoring!
Three decades in the game
And my fans still adore me
You tried alien skulls and chose poorly!
You whole story got blown up on a sitcom
There's a Big Bang you can't
Hide in a fridge from!
Hang up the whip before you crack a hip
I think even Mutt wants you to quit!
(Just do it) i kill dinosaurs for fun
What's another old geezer?
I'll lock this battle up like
Winston in the freezer!

Dinosaurs belong in a museum!
I've been served a full-course meal
Of chilled Indian voodoo
And they don't even kill as
Many animals as you do
You're corrupting the youth
They should be outside
Not trying to unload the
Barrels on your thighs
You might have ditched those pistols, akimbo
But, you're still the same
Rich back-flipping bimbo!
A brat with a treasure map to catastrophe
Stuffing your knapsack with
Innocent casualties!
Square Enix didn't want you anymore!
That's why they dropped you like
A J in the floor!
When they designed your core
They ripped my style
And jiggled in a bit of Girls Polygone Wild
You took 3D to uncharted territory
Now, you’re just in Uncharted’s territory!
Overshadowed by Drake like Lil Wayne
Somebody needs to make a tomb
For your whole game!

If you wanna talk games, stick to Sorry!
That verse was worse than your crap on Atari!
Awww, Fedora the Explorer thinks he’s tough
You must’ve gotten dragged behind
Too many trucks!
So strap some blocks on Short
Round and pump the brakes!
The only overshadowed thing is that face!
I’m whooping you so bad
I should get flagged for cheating
Like Mola Ram with a heart
Indy’s taking a beating!
I’m the first wet dream gamers ever had
You’re a Halloween costume for
Out of shape dads
Oop, my bad! Your dad was never present
At best the affection you
Got was sloppy seconds! (Ew)
You ditched your sidekick
Never met your own kid
Cause his mum cut you off like a rope bridge!
You’re a dog Indiana, that’s facts!
The only thing you’re loyal to’s a hat
No cap! (Woof)
Your face straight melted and
You lost that smolder!
So make like a boulder
And roll your arse over! Cause Junior
The baby boomer beating me at rapping?
That’s like my nude codes
Never gonna happen!

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE! Epic rrrrap battles of history!