Epic Rap Battles of History, Watsky, Zach Sherwin - Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe lyrics

[Epic Rap Battles of History, Watsky, Zach Sherwin - Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe lyrics]

Epic rap battles of history! STEPHEN KING!
VS! Edgar allan poe! BEGIN!

Once upon a midnight dreary
As I spit this weak and weary
I will choke this joker with a
Trochee till his cheeks are teary (ahh)
But y'all don't hear me, all should fear me
I'll forever be better
You'll never be near me
Your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary!
You're a faux Bram Stoker, so scram
The show's over
Your flow's so-so, Poe's poems pwn posers
(snap) i wrote 'em locked in a cave
While I sobbed in a rage
The Tell Tale Heart beats soft in it's grave
While this jerk just beats off on a page

You wanna talk shop, you gothed-out fop?
Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top


There's a melancholy alcoholic laughing stock
In the King's house
Now watch the Castle Rock
Pouty little poet with an opiate affliction
I'm a workaholic with a fiction addiction
I'm making dedicated readers
Shivery and jittery
Feel that Rage and Misery
You better start running, man
You're in deep poo, Poe
I'm a mad dog, fangs Shining, Cujo
Tommyknock you down till you can't stand up
You're as soft as Po, the Kung Fu Panda
Racks on racks cause I pen
Fat stacks of frightening writing
Have you seen the pile?
I can even take a break from my routine style
Crank out a Shawshank or a Green Mile
Masque of the Red
Death? Barely blood-curdling
Pit and the Pendulum? Not even unnerving
Perving on your first cousin when
She's thirteen years old?
Now that's disturbing

Stephen, you pretend to do it
I've been really living through it
Like misery and poverty and family woes
I see through you like pantyhose
Doing Chappelle and Simpson cameos (ahh)
Even if you're gripping on a weapon
Then you better get to stepping if
You're messing with the horror lord
In a minute, maybe, I'mma hit him
Cut him into itty
Bitty bit's and I'ma stick
'em in the floorboards

Uh, speaking of bored, you're the worst
Dropped out of school but you
Can't drop a verse
I could have spent that time better
In eight bars
I can write a whole best-seller
I'm so prolific
This sickly goblin won't be bothering me
I'm on a clobbering spree
And I'll be smacking you with any
Of the big thick books
In my big dick bibliography
See, I'm the author with the
Blood and gore lore
Galore that'll horrify a reader to the core
Fame? Money? Talent? Success?
You'll always have less (Never more)

Who won? who's next? YOU DECIDE!
Epic! ahh! rap battles of history!

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