Jazz Emu - Funkbot 10,000 lyrics

The scientists at CERN
Were violently divided
Is it pronounced 'gwee dance'
Or is it pronounced 'gwhy dance'?

Physically fightin' round
The Large Hadron Collider
When suddenly a sound
Comes rumblin' from inside her

The boss of science opens up the lid
And from within a metal thing
Comes out with arms and legs and shit

It pokes a trumpet from it's head
Opens up it's mouth and says
(Trumpet noises)

FunkBot ten thousand (I'm a funky robot)
He travelled here through time and space
To fix the shit that needs sorting

FunkBot ten thousand (Obey the funk)
The scientists put down their fists
And all take up the jazz organ

Two wicked criminals doing the unthinkable
Robbing a civilian the pinnacle of pitiful

He's acting tough but they call his bluff
Saying "Give us your stuff or
We'll kill you and stuff"

But suddenly a sound comes from behind
A funky riff keeping perfect time
(Trumpet noises)

FunkBot ten thousand (I'm a funky robot)
The thugs became masseuses and
Both gave the man a nice facial

FunkBot so arousing (Obey the funk)
Just plug him in and you'll see all
His sexy hip thrust gyrations

When life gets tough and causes you to fret
If you're feeling overwhelmed by
Insurmountable consumer debt

Don't fret on taxes
No stress with rent bills
FunkBot's got saxes in place of his genitals
(Trumpet noises, Get down)

FunkBot ten thousand (I'm a funky robot)
Thank you, FunkBot, that lick was nice
But do you have any actual financial advice?

FunkBot

FunkBot? (Funk funky funk)

A man lies dying on the floor
He's broken ten ribs, maybe more
FunkBot to the rescue, damn
That's one hell of a funky jam! (Funk)

FunkBot funk Robot, please, I'm dying
Do you have any any
Kind of medical equipment?
(I'm a funky robot)
Don't pull out a marimba! (FunkBot)
I don't need a marimba in here i
Don't need any kind of other instrument!
Help! Argh, it hurts (FunkBot)
This is not how I was expecting
To go out with a
Creepy-ass robot just dancing next to
My corpse could you
Just, at least look me in
The eye when I'm dying?
Ugh, geeze Louise! Who even made
You? And did you, are
You like, part of a race? Of other funk
Robots? Who, you just stand there, argh
My spleen! You just stand there
When people are dying from spleen
And rib injuries? That's not
Okay! I'm not okay with this funk robot just
Take a look at yourself as a species!