Jazz Emu - Potato lyrics

(Dos, Uno, Tres)

Washin' some spuds choppin' them up
Cookin' my lunch (Jansson's frestelse)
Swedish casserole but while I'm chopping
I drop a chunk and it makes me stoppen
(What in the hellse)
It switched my bluetooth on

Did you know that you can control your phone
With a piece of potato did they mean
For my LCD screen
To be responsive to a root vegetable
What's the point of this functionality?
Are they catering for potates with
Opposable thumbs that can read?
I can't help thinking that must
Be a pretty limited market

But wait now my brain is all like
Maybе the CEO of Apple, Tim Cook
Is secrеtly a potato disguised as a human
Who's worked his way up into the boardroom

And he keeps trying to pitch features
That are specifically geared
Towards potatoes, and he's like
Greetings fellow humans
And they're like, I hate how he starts
Every meeting like that
Typical corporate exec
He can't remember anyone's name and he's like
I've got an idea for an app
Okay, well does it have
Broad appeal? Because, honestly
Most of your ideas have
Been unworkably specific
Have you heard of Uber?
Have we have we heard of
Uber? The most downloaded ride
Hailing app in the world? Yes I think most of
I'm just spit balling here
But what about 'Tuber' what's tuber?
An app that matches tuberous roots for
The purpose of getting freaky asexually
Again, I'm not sure there's a
Demographic for this you know
It's kind of like your app for
Destroying all the peelers also
As CEO you shouldn't
Really be pitching apps at all it's
It's really more of a
Sales and operations role

Did you know that you can control your phone
With a piece of potato have you seen
If it touches the screen
You can personal hotspot enable
(What a lucky vegetable)
What a random bit of functionality
(How strange) i wonder how that happened
Hahaha, it's a real mystery
No I don't think that someone could
Have tampered with the schematics