Monty Python - Bloody catholics lyrics

Every sperm is sacred every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
MR hARRY BLACKITT: Look at
Them, bloody Catholics
Filling the bloody world up
With bloody people
They can't afford to bloody feed
MRS bLACKITT: What are we dear?
MR bLACKITT: Protestant
And fiercely proud of it
MRS bLACKITT: Hmm well
Why do they have so many children?
MR bLACKITT: Because every time
They have sexual intercourse
They have to have a baby
MRS bLACKITT: But it's the same with us
Harry mR bLACKITT: What do you mean?
MRS bLACKITT: Well, I mean
We've got two children
And we've had sexual intercourse twice
MR bLACKITT: That's not the point we could
Have it any time we wanted
MRS bLACKITT: Really?
MR bLACKITT: Oh, yes, and, what's more
Because we
Don't believe in all that Papist claptrap
We can take precautions
MRS bLACKITT: What, you mean lock the door?
MR bLACKITT: No, no i mean, because we
Are members of the
Protestant Reformed Church
Which successfully challenged the autocratic
Power of the
Papacy in the mid- sixteenth century
We can wear little rubber
Devices to prevent issue
MRS bLACKITT: What d'you mean?
MR bLACKITT: I could, if I wanted
Have sexual intercourse with you
MRS bLACKITT: Oh, yes, Harry
MR bLACKITT: and
By wearing a rubber sheath over my old
Feller, I could insure that, when I came off
You would not be impregnated
MRS bLACKITT: Ooh!

MRS bLACKITT: You what?
MR bLACKITT: French Ticklers black
Mambos crocodile Ribs sheaths
That are designed not only to protect
But also to enhance the
Stimulation of sexual congress
MRS bLACKITT: Have you got one?
MR bLACKITT: Have I got one? Uh, well, no
But I can go down the road any time I want
And walk into Harry's and hold my head up
High and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry
I want you to sell
Me a condom in fact, today, I
Think I'll have a French Tickler
For I am a Protestant'
MRS bLACKITT: Well, why don't you?
MR bLACKITT: But they - Well, they cannot
'cause their church never made the
Great leap out of the
Middle Ages and the domination
Of alien episcopal supremacy
NARRATOR #1: But
Despite the attempts of Protestants to
Promote the idea of sex for pleasure
Children continued to multiply everywhere