Monty Python - Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch lyrics

[Monty Python - Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch lyrics]

Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of
Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics
Brother Maynard carries with
Him brother Maynard!
Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!

Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem
Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem pie Iesu
Domine, dona eis requiem pie Iesu domine
Dona eis requiem

How does it, um - how does it work?

I know not, my liege
Consult the Book of Armaments!

Armaments, chapter two
Verses nine to twenty-one

And Saint Attila raised the hand
Grenade up on high, saying


"O Lord, bless this Thy hand
Grenade that, with it
Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to
Tiny bit's in Thy mercy"
And the Lord did grin
And the people did feast upon the lambs
And sloths and carp and anchovies
And orangutans and breakfast
Cereals and fruit bats and large chu -

Skip a bit, Brother

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou
Take out the Holy Pin then
Shalt thou count to three no more no less
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count
And the number of
The counting shall be three four
Shalt thou not count
Nor either count thou two
Excepting that thou then proceed to
Three five is right out
Once the number three, being the third
Number, be reached, then
Lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of
Antioch towards thy foe, who, being
Naughty in My sight, shall snuff it"

Amen

Amen

Right! One! two! five! GALAHAD:
Three, sir!

Three! (angels sing, boom)

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