Stephen Colbert, Chance The Rapper - 2017 Emmy Awards Opening Song lyrics

Look, guys, I know the world
Outside is getting crazy
But look at the bright side
Television's never been better
Good point, Stephen
But, I bet you can't sing it oh, really?
Mhmm

Dear friends
The next time the world's problems
Make you feel the blues
Turn on any channel, well, except the news
'Cause troubles aren't so troublin' when
You see them in HD
The world's a little better on TV
So don't you worry about global
Warming or the Middle East
Walk on the bright side
With the recently deceased
My HBO password is SEXBOT123
Everything is better on TV
When the world's so scary you
Close your door and hide
Open up, let Archer slip inside
(uh, phrasing?) watch This Is Us
You'll learn it feels so good to feel so sad
With Randall, Kev and Kate
She probably killed her dad (hey)
And Stranger Things is much less
Strange than our reality
Everything is better on TV
I'd like to vote for
(Selina Meyer) Selina Meyer
She's pretty foxy
Imagine if your president was
Not beloved by Nazis
The Americans has hotter spies
Than the Russian inquiry
Even treason's better on TV
You don't have to take it
From my song and dance
It's time to give this thing a chance

Yo Stephon, what a beautiful segue
Let me take over, I can make us some headway
I love television
It's a pleasant distraction
But just imagine takin' action
I like Brooklyn Nine Nine, in fact
I'm addicted but where's the cop show
Where one gets convicted?
I miss the classics, I still think MASH rocks
But, if Hawkeye can be a soldier
Why not Laverne Cox?
Bob's Burgers makes you smile, but please
Don't ignore the decline of the
Independently family-run store
I get it, them finales, they got you focused
Just record the show and try to
Show up at the protest

The nightly news might feel you
With fears and phobias
Calm yourself by watchin' this dystopia
Look on the brightside, Handmaids
At least your healthcare's free
But our future's always brighter on TV
Let's go!

So friends I know that the world may
Be the worst we've ever seen
But, it's never been better on your TV screen
'Cause even though old Kimmy agrees
We're up Schmidt's creek
You can just whip out your smartphone
And stream shows while you pee
You can binge until your
Muscles start to atropy
'Til you can't tell the difference
Between fact and fantasy
Then everything is better on TV
Yes, everything is better on TV