The Lonely Island, Natalie Portman - Natalie's Rap 2.0 lyrics

We're here today with film
Star Natalie Portman now
Natalie, the last time you were here
I heard things got a little out of control
Yeah, well
I was going through a really weird time
Then but i've matured a lot
Why don't you fill us in on
What it's like to be you? Okay, ya bish
I'm sorry, what?

Yeah, Portman, Portman, Portman
Portman, Portman, portman
Fucked your husband and his best
Friend just for sport, man
Messed around and made the same song twice
Here's a Bush, now eat your Condoleezza Rice
You know it's clickbait, clickbait, clickbait
Put a dildo on a switchblade, switchblade
Switchblade (Woo)
Xannies dissolving in my Pinot
My man dance, but he's not a ballerino
Yeah, he twinkle his toes, but
He give me good D, though
Wrap a good burrito
Tide Pods the only fucking thing I snack on
Black out and go motherfucking Black Swan
Ooh! These dudes slouching, fix your posture
Boy i'll come upside your head
With my fucking Oscar, boy
My brain gone off that fucking Ayahuasca, boy
Tell your tourist parents I'ma turn
You 'to a foster boy!

Wow, I gotta say it seems like
You're almost exactly the same
But with current references
Untrue i'm a mother now it's
Really changed my perspective
And do you find it difficult
Juggling kids and a career?
You can juggle these nuts what?

I don't dance now, I make mommy moves
When I gave birth, I didn't even push
I was blazed out, smoking bomb kush
And when my water broke
You know it drowned the doctor
They say I'm sex-positive
Hell yeah, I'm positive
That you're going down while
I'm bumping "My Prerogative" tell me why
Ha, I guess I'm showing my age
Now bend over and spread 'em because
You about to get fucked (Damn)

Fascinating stuff now I have to ask, Natalie
Have you seen the new Star Wars movies? No
Oh, well they're really good!
They're much better than better than what?
Shit!

Say something 'bout the
Motherfucking prequels, bitch!
(They were good) say something fucking nice
About Jar-Jar Binks! (He's tall?)
Now kiss him right on his seventeen dicks
(What?) while I sit dead on your
Face and take a shit!

Oh, Natalie yeah? Please come meet your baby
He cries himself to sleep every night
That little shit ain't mine!
Oh, Natalie what?
It's been twelve long years
Shut the fuck up! And I'm seven days sober
I swear on his life! You're a mess, Carl

Okay, well, that's all the
Time we have natalie
One last question do you think
Those "Time's Up" pins have
Had the impact that you were hoping for? AH!
How's that for impact? Well, actually oh, no
No more questions