The Lonely Island, Chris Parnell, Natalie Portman - Natalie's Rap lyrics

We're sitting here today with
Film star Natalie Portman hello
So Natalie, what's a day in the life
Of Natalie Portman like?
Do you really want to know? Please, tell us

I don't sleep
Motherfucker off that 'gnac and the durban
Doin' 120, gettin' head while I'm swervin'
Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick
Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick!
I bust in dudes' mouths
Like Gushers motherfucker
Roll up on NBC and smack
The shit outta Jeff Zucker
What you want Natalie? To drink and fight!
What you need Natalie? To fuck all night!
Don't test me when I'm crazy
Off that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat 'til
Your shit's in my shoe
Leave you screamin', pay for my dry-cleanin'
Fuck your man
It's my name that he's screamin'!

I'm sorry Natalie
Are we to believe that you
Condone driving while intoxicated?
I never said that I was a role model
But, what about the kids that look up to
You? Do you have a message for them?

All the kids looking up to
Me can suck my dick
It's Portman, motherfucker
Drink 'til I'm sick
Slit your throat and pour
Nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry while I laugh
You die and all the dudes
You know I'm talkin' to you
We love you Natalie! I wanna fuck you too!
P! Is for Portman! P! It's for pussy!
I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun
So don't push me!

Well Natalie, I'm surprised
All this from a Harvard graduate?
Well, there's a lot you may not know about me
Really, such as?

When I was in Harvard I smoked weed every day
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I got a def posse, you got a bunch of dudes
I'll sit right down on your
Face and take a shit!

Natalie, you are a badass bitch (Hell yeah)
And I'll always pay for your dry-cleaning
When my shit gets in your shoe (What)
And as for the drug use
Well I can vouch for that
My dick is scared of you, girl

Okey doke natalie
One final question: If you
Could steal a smooch
From any guy in Hollywood who would it-
No more questions

What!