The Lonely Island - Perfect Saturday lyrics

Yeah, this beat reminds me of back in the day
Sunshine chillin'
Man, tell 'em about your perfect Saturday

Woke up at 10, no worries at all
Another sunny day in LA, that’s how we ball
Hit my homie J cuz he rolls the blunts tight
Head’s still spinnin' from the
Freaks last night
Yeah man, you know I got the sticky for sho'
And five females coming over at 4
I’ma hop in the shower, clean my nuts
Throw on the Polo Sport to impress the stunts
Rolling up in the Charger
With the suicide doors
Top down cruising as I head to the store
Jim hats, some brews, everything that we need
Then back to the crib smoking Indo weed
It’s the perfect Saturday
There’s knock on the door
Man, these girls are here early
It’s a quarter to 4
Man, which of these freaks I’ma
See in my bed?
Open the door and see my homie Ned
(Oh, hey guys, how’s it going?) What up, Ned?
(I got 911, need to use your head)
That’s a no can do
Ooh your breath is all hit
(yeah, I know, now move, I gotta take a shit)
Now, normally Ned, the bathroom was yours
But we got these fine freaks coming over at 4
(Fine freaks? Okay, new plan
I’ll just hold it and let out small
Farts for the rest of the night)

Okay, Ned, thanks for stopping by
(You’re welcome)
Seriously, Ned, it was good to see you
(I know) listen, the freaks are gonna
Be here any minute
We gotta get rid of this guy
Hey dude, he’s your friend
You should ask him to leave
Listen, if the freaks come here
He cannot be here (Oh, God)
Shit! Ah, one second what time is it?
It’s 4, it’s them who? The freaks?
Yes, get Ned out!

Ned, you gotta hop out the window
(But we’re on the 5th floor) Yes
Smooth like Indo
(I’m not doing that) Then hit
The bathroom on the double
(The dump's in my butt and
Your toilets are trouble)

(Look, seriously I’ll hold it
I’ve been in this situation
Literally hundreds of times)
Oh, what the fuck? Oh, no
I’m gonna need to borrow some pants
Jeremy, we were buzzing, why didn't you
Oh, hey ladies oh, my God
It smells like fucking death in here!
Hey, freaks! This place smells like shit!
It was them! We're out of here
Becca, wait! Oh, you guys blew it

Well, that’s too bad but we ain’t mad
(You're not?)
No, in fact, we got something to show you
It’s down this hallway
And open up the storeroom
(A surprise?) yeah, man, something like that
So walk out front and don’t look back
(What’s all this plastic? Were
You painting last night?)
Don’t worry about it
Just walk towards the light
(It sure is pretty) yeah sure is
Close your eyes, Ned (You’re my only friends)
Ned farts again, a gunshot is heard

Yeah, motherfuckers
You didn't think you were gonna get out
Of this without a fart joke, did you?
You wack motherfuckers
You pussy motherfuckers
The fuck y'all thinking?
This is Lonely Island!
Oh, cause we got a little paper now
And you see us on the TV
You think we don’t do fart jokes no more?
We were doing fart jokes when you
Were suckin' your mama’s tit
You fart motherfuckers, fuck y'all