The Lonely Island - The Heist lyrics

Five o'clock in the morning I
Hear the phone ringing yo, what up Dunn?
What up son? Sorry were you sleeping?
Nah, just finished reading this ill ass novel
Not the one about the girl who
Left her family up in Kabul? That's the one
That shit was sad had me crying on the pages
Yo, I read that mother fucker had
Me sad as fuck for ages
Yo! We should start a book club!
Yo, son I hear you talking
How about Sunday afternoons right
After speed walking? That's a date
But, I know that ain't the
Reason for your calling
No doubt, you're so observant
Must've noticed I was stalling
Yo, best friends gotta tell
Each other their secrets
I just came from Pam's work and
She dipped my heart in shit
Yo what, that's Baskin Robbins yo, yo
You know the spot where you order frozen
Treats and they rip your heart apart
Yo, I got what you need at the house
You cool to drive?
I'm pretty broken up I might
Not make it there alive
Don't talk like that
Now you're making me want to cry
Yo, it's cool son, I'm fine
I'll be over there in five

Ay yo it's ill when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold
Now my heart stay cold
Now my heart stay cold
Ay yo it's ill when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold
Now my heart stay cold
Now my heart stay cold

Yo son, your house looks beautiful
Did you redecorate?
Nah kid the French lighting really
Opens up the place well it feels so spacious
It's an optical illusion
You didn't knock down a wall?
Nah son, it's light diffusion
My girlfriend Pam and I were planning
On doing some home remodeling
Yeah, she borrowed all my copies
Of Better Homes and Gardening
Yo, I mean ex girlfriend
Can't believe this shit is happening
Yo have this cup of tea
Man you'll never see those magazines
This tea is delicious what did
You say it was? Chamomile mother fucker!
Is it caffeinated cuz?
Nah I'm trying to cut down
Me and Pam were gonna too, thought
We'd always be a couple
Not the one but the two no doubt son
Even when I was in my abusive relationship
I would look to you and Pam and
Know that true love could exist
You for real guy
I never knew you felt like that
No doubt Dunny
I thought you were a perfect match

Ay yo it's ill when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold
Now my heart stay cold
Now my heart stay cold
Ay yo it's ill when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold
Now my heart stay cold
Now my heart stay cold

Yo kid
This red wine has got me feeling fucked up
Watch out Dunny
You just knocked some right out of my cup
Oh fuck
That's my bad it's all over your slacks
No doubt son I'm soaked from
The front to the back
Oh shit, you're getting naked!
Of course I am, bet
We gotta get these in the
Wash before the stain sets ah fuck man
You just got wine all over my vest
Yo take your shirt off real quick before
It seeps down to your chest
Yo kid we're both buck
Naked are you uncomfortable? Nah kid
We're two grown men and
We're both heterosexual word up son!
Hold on yo, did you just hear something?
Goddamn, it's fucking Pam
She must've let herself in what up Pam
How's it going? What an awkward situation
Yo, if you didn't know better
This might look incriminating
Yo, what wacky circumstances to lead
All of this to happen
Yo, just like on fucking Seinfeld
Or Curb Your Enthusiasm
Yo, those were both by Larry David
No doubt, Dunny that's true
Wait Pam don't go
If you leave now we're through
Yo, I'm sorry son, damn
What a tragic way to end
The important thing now is that
We're naked and we're friends