The Lonely Island - Threw It On the Ground lyrics

I was walking through the city streets
And a man walks up to me and
Hands me the latest energy drink
"Run faster, jump higher"
Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me

I threw it on the ground
You must think I'm a joke
I ain't gonna be part of your system, man!
Pump that garbage in another man's veins

I go to my favorite hotdog stand
And the dude says
"You come here all the time
Here's one for free" i said "Man
What I look like? A charity case?" i took it

And threw it on the ground
I don't need your handouts
I'm an adult! Please!
You can't buy me, hot dog man

At the farmers market with
My so-called "girlfriend"
She hands me her cell phone says it's my dad
Man, this ain't my dad! This is a cell phone

I threw it on the ground
What you think, I'm stupid?
I'm not a part of your system
My dad's not a phone! Duh!

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party
What you want me to do with this? Eat it?

Happy birthday to the ground!
I threw the rest of the cake, too
Welcome to the real world, jackass!

So many things to throw on the ground
Like this, and this, and that, and even this
I'm an adult!

Two Hollywood phonies try to
Give me their autograph

Ground! Nobody wants your autograph!
Phonies!

Then, the two phonies got up
Turned out they had a taser
And they tased me in the butthole
Fell to the ground, the phonies didn't let up
Tasin' on my butthole over and over
I was screaming and squirming
My butthole was on fire

The moral of the story is
You can't trust the system man!