Tobuscus - Literal Assassin's Creed Revelations Trailer lyrics

Stargate, Ubisoft, Sparkle
Fade in to the left hand of a sleepy man
How'd he fall asleep there?
Help up the sleepy hooded man
That's what beds are for
Drag him 'cross the stone floor
Front shot, then a shot from the ceiling
He could get carpet burned slow fade
Cut to white on a boat, I'm looking ahead
Holding on a rope i am nauseous
Now I'm alone, walking away
And I'm afraid of heights
Oh sh, how'd I get up here?
If I fall then I would be dead
I made it down alright i feel great rAAHH!
GOD! COME ON!
Whoever shot that arrow's gonna pay
Enter Bald Guy With a Cape
Break the arrow off, you can take a bald guy
Then you see the bald guy
Joined by some other guys run up!
In slow motion, kick a guy in the head
Stab his friend spin around, roll off
Punch a face start out in slow motion first
Then use a speed hack
Grab a sword, use it to deflect
Stab him in the back
Get down just in time, and
Slap him in the face
Friendly Fire's on, apparently
Why unsheathe your blade?
Make 'em use their own
Time out, lemme get my Weap's iN SLOW-MO
I am the first X-Man
That joke's ahead of our time
But, you still gonna die!
Who the hell is that guy? The second X-Man
Don't watch him walk away
Or you'll lose a hidden blade
And get surrounded oOWHITE!
Evil Bald Guy With a Cape
Ezio plans his escape
Boss wait's patiently, Ezio shakes free
All the Royal Guards pee themselves
Main Boss calls them off with his right hand
Slow dramatic zoom pan
Doesn't faze the hooded man
Cape-Clad Bald Guy Sentence Ezio To Die
Then he sees Altair from the first game
He used to jump off those, anyway
Under each of those there's a bale of hay
After you synchronize, Leap of Faith
Nod at the bird and people die
Everywhere people die