"Weird Al" Yankovic - Generic Blues lyrics

I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feelin'
Like I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs is
Tryin' to chew off my head
You know what I'm sayin'?

Well, I ain't got no money
I'm just walkin' down the road
Said I ain't got no money, honey
So I'm just walkin' down
This lonely ol' road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code

I was born in a paper sack
In the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast
My family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress
My mama sold bathroom tile
My brothers and sisters all hated me
'Cause I was an only child
I got the blues so bad kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out, mama
Or maybe I'll
Yeah maybe I'll just go bowlin' instead

I'm just a no-good, scum-sucking
Nose-picking, boot-licking, sniveling
Grovelling worthless hunk of slime
Nothin' but a low down beer-bellied
Bone headed, pigeon-toed, turkey-necked
Weasel-faced worthless hunk of slime
I guess I've got a pretty low self-image
Maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something
I should probably go and see a doctor
About it when I've got the time

Guitar! Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
Okay, now make it shut up

Plagues and famine and pestilence
Always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable
Whenever I'm around
I wish somebody would come along
And stick a pitchfork through my brain
I'd flush myself right down the toilet
But I'd just clog up the drain
I got the blues so bad kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out, mama
Or maybe I'll go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
Maybe I'll just rent some
Shoes and go bowling
Maybe I'll join a league
Enter a tournament
Put on a stupid-lookin' shirt and go bowling
Instead