"Weird Al" Yankovic - Mr. Popeil lyrics

I need a Veg-o-Matic!
I need a Pocket Fisherman!
I need a handy appliance
That'll scramble an egg while it's
Still inside it's shell!
(Operators are standing by
How does that make you feel?) help me
Mr popeil!

I wanna shine some pennies!
I wanna mend some leather!
I wanna Krazy Glue my head to the
Bottom of a big steel girder!
(Please, no COD's
Don't miss out on this deal) ah, help me
Mr popeil!

Help me mr popeil!
Mr popeil! Mr popeil!
(Woo, woo, ohh)

It slices, it dices look at that tomato!
You could even cut a tin can with it
But you wouldn't want to!
Mr popeil, I'm in trouble
Need your assistance on the double
Oh no! Now how am I gonna make
My old vinyl car top look like new?
(Mr popeil)
Tell me, what am I s'posed to do?
Mr popeil! Mr popeil!

(Now how much would you pay?)
But wait, there's more!
It's not sold in any store!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Don't answer yet
Just look what else you get!
(Now how much would you pay?)
If you order today you get a Ginsu knife
And a smokeless ashtray!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Now how much would you pay?
Mr popeil, Mr popeil mr popeil, Mr popeil
Mr popeil, Mr popeil mr popeil, Mr popeil

Make me buy a Garden Weasel!
Make me buy a Bamboo Steamer!
Make me take advantage of
This amazing TV offer!
(Call our toll-free number
We'll make you such a deal) aw, help me!
Mr popeil, I want it! (Mr popeil)
Well, I need it! (Mr popeil)
I got to, got to, got to have it! Mr popeil!
Mr popeil! Hey!