"Weird Al" Yankovic - One More Minute lyrics

Well, I heard that you're leavin'
(Leavin')
Gonna leave me far behind (So far behind)
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (Name
Out) of my Rolodex
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop
Where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you

That's right (That's right)
You ain't gonna see me cryin' i'm glad
(I'm glad) that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating
Shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kind of bitter
You got me feelin' down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in
The gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey
Let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't
(You ain't) gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand
Paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you goin' out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door
Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, can't you see what I'm
Tryin' to say, darlin', i'd

Rather have my blood sucked out by leeches
(Leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in
Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you
Yes, I'd rather jump naked on
A huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool
Filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart right out of
My ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and
Stomp on it 'til I die
Than spend one more minute with you