"Weird Al" Yankovic - Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser) lyrics

Fat and weak, what a disgrace
Guess the champ got too lazy
Ain't gonna fly now
He's just takin' up space sold his gloves
Threw his eggs down the drain
But he's no bum, he works down the street
He bought the neighborhood deli
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say:

Try the rye or the kaiser
They're on special tonight
If you want, you can have an appetizer
You might like our salami
And the liver's all right
And they'd really go well with the rye
Or the kaiser

Never eats while on the job
He heard it's good to stay hungry
But he makes a pretty mean shish kabob
Have a taste, they were made fresh today

Try the rye or the kaiser or
The wheat or the white
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer
Stay away from the tuna
It smells funny tonight
But you just can't go wrong with the rye
Or the kaiser

So today, his deli comes first
Still he dreams of his past days of glory
Goes in the back and beats
Up on the liverwurst
All the while you can still hear him say:

It's the rye or the kaiser
It's the thrill of one bite
Let me please be your catering advisor
If you want substitutions
I won't put up a fight
You can have your roast beef on the rye
Or the kaiser

The rye or the kaiser the rye or the kaiser
The rye or the kaiser