Man on the Internet - Lancer lyrics

Ho ho ho!
The heroes are already running away!
And they didn't even know I was here!
My dad's gonna make me Son of the Month!
Who the hell are you? I'm the bad guy!
I even have my own theme song!
It goes like this!

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Those aren't lyrics yeah they are!
You're just saying "da da
Da" over and over! Gimme a second
Gosh! Lyric writing is really hard

I'm Lancer, prince of spades!
Tonight I'm gonna have my day
Beep beep! On the mic, on the bike
Gonna strike, better get out of my way
Pedal on 'til the Lightners are gone
And then I'm gonna say yay!

Yay! Um

Oh you sweet fools and clowns
Tonight you're going down
Gonna get the goal as I go rolling
Through this empty town oh, don't you know
In our dark fountain and your tears
You're gonna drown

Spare the rod and spoil me
I'm the coolest in my family
I'm the villain in the game
And your face is kinda lame

In my kingdom you will find
Nothing's ever gonna shine
Dare you dare my maze of signs?
I am losing my mind

Here I go, my father's son
Don't you know I'm number one?
Are you done? Umno

Beep beep! Here come the wheels
You like wrestling? I'm a heel
You know what? I really feel
Like we've grown closer today
You can't stop my evil plan
Now I'm gonna stand in your way

Dude, are you just standing there?
No! I'm just standing there menacingly!
There are so many way more evil things
You could be doing right now
Ooh! I like the way you
Think, purple lady! Why, I could
Pause for the music

Drink straight from the lake
Eat someone else's birthday cake
Since I'm the bad guy what I want, I take

Maybe, I can dig a hole
Then dig a bigger hole
Don't stop me now, I'm on a roll

I'm the riding ace of spades
Life's a game I love to play
Coming up with rhymes is hard
Hey, why don't you pick a card?

This card says "Proud member of
The Lancer Fan Club"
And I for one am so proud to
Be a fan of you guys!
Now we're all fans of each other!
Aren't you supposed to be the bad guy?
Huh maybe deep down, we're all just "guys"
You know what?
Thank you so much for helping me
Come to this philosophical conclusion!

Spare the rod and spoil me
I'm the coolest in my family
I'm the villa uh, regular guy
I came up with that rhyme on the fly

I'm Lancer, prince of spades!
Tonight I'm gonna have my day
Beep beep! Here come the wheels
You like wrestling? I'm a heel
You know what? I really feel
Like we'll see each other soon and do evil!

You didn't even try to rhyme that one!
I'll do better next time!
Aren't you gonna finish the chorus?
No! 'Cause I'm evil! I
Learned nothing whatsoever!