The Key of Awesome, Mark Douglas, Anastasia Douglas - Where Is Everyone? lyrics

I wrote another song about
Me wanker ex cus he's a worthless lout
His name is Timothy Matthews
He lives on 5 Rubbish Road, flat number 22

Please harass his ass on Facebook till
He loses all his marbles
If you see him on the street
You should kick him in the yarbles
Push him down the stairs and pull
Him up by his nostrils did I mention
That he has herpes (and warts)?

I'll never stop talkin' shite about you
I wish nothing but arse
Worms for Tim Matthews
If you cross me, you're dead
I'll hide under your bed
Next time you check the mail
You'll find your new girlfriend's head

Stop right there, Adele
Don't sing another bloody word
You've lost the plot, haven't you?
Two can play at this game
Keep playin', you poof

Adele's got bipolar disorder
She's an angry drunk and a kitten hoarder
She left out the verse where
She cheated on me
With all her roadies and Mr bean
I always brought you flowers and said
Bless you when you sneezed
You yelled at me in public, burped
And farted as you please, d
You offered me some lovin'
Then you gave me a Dutch oven
And you kicked my arse on Christmas

Every one of your songs is untrue
I caught herpes and willy warts from you
Children tell me to drop dead
They throw milkshakes at me head
Even the Queen once said
"Fuck you, Adele's boyfriend"

Nevermind all that stuff about Tim Matthews
Instead let's focus on Neal
Kent from primary school
Cus he used to kick my chair
And he put glue in my hair
He called me a cabbage head
Let's ruin his life instead
I don't know why I have
Such rotten luck with men