The Stupendium - Don’t Let the Bellhops Bite lyrics

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There's a cozy little place tucked away
Between the third and fourth circle of Hell
Where you can take a break
Makes a great vacation
Maybe take in just a little damnation as well
So ring the bell
We're excited to welcome you in
No time herе to dwell on your sins
Your itinerary's fairly heavily pеrilous
But let me share the various
Amenities you're getting within
If you've got luggage
The staff can take it through
But the baggage that's emotional
Well that can stay with you
You've clearly packed a bag with plans
To stay a day or two
But it's pretty optimistic if you
Think you won't be strewn
Across the floor, twisted and deformed
Little bit's of blood and gore
Chewed and spit out of the maw
Of a vicious set of jaws in a spiffy uniform
All your sins have a cost
But your death is complimentary, of course


It's just monkey business but
With one key difference
That the one reliving it
Is beyond deliverance
We've got one piece hidden in
Deep amongst these remnants
Of our one-time residents in our
Little hotel in Hell where the bellhops bite

We're afraid to say that the pool is closed
Since the lifeguard started to decompose
Down here things lurk deep below
So stay clear if you want to keep your toes
Breakfast is served till ten
But no one ever wakes up to attend
'Cause if you lay your head on a bed
You'll be too dead for eggs
And you'll never eat bacon again
Our gymnasium's stocked with
The best utensils though you ought to be
Running without the treadmill
The bar's a haunt
With all the spirit's you want
They were all our last guests to get killed
We've so many amenities
No chance of boredom
We both know you've already
Seen the ballroom
A little reminder, you've a riddle to find
Or it is frivolous fighting your doom

It's just monkey business but
With one key difference
That the one reliving it
Is beyond deliverance
We've got one piece hidden in
Deep amongst these remnants
Of our one-time residents in our
Little hotel in Hell where the bellhops bite


Think twice before you use that
Phone by the bed
Room service will cost you an arm and a leg
And a torso, a stomach, a neck, and a head
The menu's sparse, but the staff's well-fed
We'll provide a device that might
Help you find the
Shards you've been tasked with and
Hide from the nightmares
But if you try to check the
TripAdvisor, you'll likely trip and die
Sir "Five stars, never a survivor!"
We're not winding you up
We're not letting you go
Fish the mint from the blood
Pooling in the pillows checkout is at one
Not that you'll need to know
Pay your tab at the front desk
Or death will be slow
We strongly urge that you
Defer your day's ablutions
The concierge will start the purge
Before you're through them
Whilst on your journey on
The way to retribution
We hope that you enjoy your stay of execution

It's just monkey business but
With one key difference
That the one reliving it
Is beyond deliverance
We've got one piece hidden in
Deep amongst these remnants
Of our one-time residents in our
Little hotel in Hell where the bellhops bite

It's just monkey business but
With one key difference
That the one reliving it
Is beyond deliverance
We've got one piece hidden in
Deep amongst these remnants
Of our one-time residents in our
Little hotel in Hell where the bellhops bite