The Stupendium - What a Plunderful World lyrics

Do you love the sweet smell
Of industry in the morning?
Does Terra Firma fill you with
Terror versus firm factory foundations?
Have you ever looked at Mother
Nature’s splendor and thought, ‘Eugh’
We have brave FICSIT pioneers nobly shaving
Off the galaxy’s superfluous greenery
Grinding it down into the
Fine mulch of progress
And refining it into pure ingots of profit
And now you too can join them welcome
To the AWESOME shop

The planets and the stars are
New frontiers of revenue
And our pioneers bring bargains
Factory direct to you
Try not to be disheartеned by
The trees that we consumе
Call and place your orders of
Products from the AWESOME shop


Violent violet boars on your iron ore?
Carnivorous critters crashing your
Caterium conveyors?
Then do we have just the product for you!

Every planet features sweet resource veins
That you can extract
Sadly, selfish creatures then, of course
Make them their habitats
We’ve got a brilliant new
Addition to your haversack
Thirty thousand volts of pure eviction
In one handy pack
Any nuisance beasts giving you
Any grief just give
A brief zap and you’ll see them scatter
Is it cruel? Does it even
Matter? Deep below, well
We need that matter
It’s a tool with a decent stagger but
Certain pests need a beefier splatter
The Xeno-Basher is our premium offering
Guaranteed to leave more than
A few teeth wobbling
When local zoology opposes remodeling
We recommend them a deluxe clobbering

Case in point! This little bugger clearly
Needs an excavation
Of his brain from his head
Oh he’s uh he’s brought me a berry
Nobody’s ever brought me a berry before
Go on, get out of here!


The planets and the stars are
New frontiers of revenue
It’s one small step for industry
One giant deal for you
Leaving deep space carbon footprints in
Some giant freaking shoes
Wake up babe, new ores just dropped
Now stocked in the AWESOME shop

‘Cause it's thirsty work
Converting the fertile earth
From worthless dirt to stuff for the
Twerps on earth to purchase
So, what’s a few birds in a furnace?
Slurp from your new coffee cup
You’ve earned it
Land that’s not wasteland stands wasted
Raze those plants and then replace with
Plating plants, gas excavating
Fracking plans are quite groundbreaking
Flora and the fauna aren’t important
When there’s more to sell
Heck, even our chainsaw fuel is
Ground up alien tortoiseshells
There’s no need to focus on our
One-sided war of the worlds
Ripping up the rosebuds as we’re
Plundering these ores n’ wells
Climate impact? Disregard it
You’re under contract to farm it
Our market share just can’t be spared
And you’ve got artifacts to HARVEST

NEWS FROM EARTH widespread chaos
There is no hope but for all
Citizens to immediately harvest
Alien artifacts yOU MUST COMPLY
YOU MUST COMPLY yOU MUST COMPLY


The planets and the stars are
New frontiers of revenue
And our pioneers bring bargains
Factory direct to you
You’ve reached our complaints department
You’re three millionth in the queue
Critics say we oughta stop
But then who’d stock the AWESOME shop?

It's that blinking Lizard Doggo again!
That’s it
You were warned! I am gonna clobber you with
He’s brought me another present!
Look, I can’t do it! He’s too cute
It’s a it’s a barrel of nuclear waste
Thanks little guy i could never be mad at you