The Stupendium, McGwire - No One’s Home lyrics

It's my pleasure to welcome you
To your new home in apartment two
With one bedroom and a splendid view
Just don't forget when the rent is due

We expect all residents to
Abide by tenancy rules
Keep quiet, keep clean
Keep telling the truth
Present evidence of any elements who
Have better to do than to
Comply with our societal requirements
Those who stay in line might
Just survive until retirement
Pay no mind as I enquire just
Why the other night you went
To the laundry room to hide
An item in the dryer, friend?

This block is state-provided
And you'd be wise to be grateful
Side with every regulation and you'll
Find food on the table it's not a state
Provided you find decadence is wasteful
It's been perfect since the state
Decided what décor is tasteful

As property manager my job
Is sorting the utilities
Disposal of the garbage and
The laundering facilities
Why would I compile a full
Report on your activities?
I'm just a standard landlord
Glory to the Ministry

Lock the door and close the curtains
Hold your breath lest you
Should speak your sins
But you can't keep a secret from the
Building that you keep it in
Befriend your fellow tenants
Show a smile and keep it pleasant
But know everyone's a friend
Until you need to turn some people in

It's the breathing on the phone
Hiding just beneath the tone
It's the things that shift
When no one's home
Well, you may be on your own
But you'll never be alone
Yes, we all live here
But it's no one's home


To get through the day
It behooves you to play by
The rules and behave
Do the state preapprove all the
Tunes that you play? When alone in a room
Well to whom do you pray?

Assume that your neighbors are moving away
When the black van comes in the night
And you're numb to the sight
Of another one fumbling for somewhere to hide
As their wife just runs for their life
'Fore the ones with the guns can arrive
And they're gone 'fore the sun can arise
To a government provided bunker
For some realignment it's just fine
You can trust it's a wonderful time

Just go about your business normally
No one's following, I'm not recording
Your paranoia is awfully boring
According to all of your friends
That talk to me
Most importantly please speak clear
When you're broadcasting
Your honest thoughts on the law or economy
My provided mics are tiny and
I can't transcribe properly

Should you ever behold me with my
Peepers pressed to a keyhole
You can trust I'm just checking
The tumblers for rust
I'm a custodian not a Ministry mole
Settle in for a night on the couch
No questioning what that red light is about
Now bleeping on your ceiling since
The time you went out
It's just a little gaslighting
Put aside any doubts

You're fine in your house
So confide to your spouse
Any crimes carried out
Any tiny amount of new ideas found
Just a mite out of bounds
'Cause I'm writing them down
With a timestamped account
What's it matter, every night or two?
If I sneak in, have a rifle through
But depending what I find
Well you'll be faced with another
Kind of rifle too

Privacy is the cry of
The defiant to compliancy
But grease my palm and I might not see
Those books they banned from the libraries
What do you mean, that that's not yours?
It appeared one night in
Your cabinet drawers?
I have to report it, I regret
But of course, I could forget

Societal ideals are reliably pliable
So the rise of a
Tyrant becomes entirely viable
You'll find that the spying
Is really quite justifiable
Why are you crying when it's
Your blind eye that's liable?

Handy landlord here to fix
Your ventilation whistling
Too many questions and it's not
The air that needs conditioning
That telephone's not tampered with
Of course it isn't listening but were it
It prefers the words "Glory
To the Ministry"

Lock the door and close the curtains
Hold your breath lest you
Should speak your sins
But you can't keep a secret from the
Building that you keep it in
Befriend your fellow tenants
Show a smile and keep it pleasant
But know everyone's a friend until you
Need to turn some people in

It's the breathing on the phone
Hiding just beneath the tone
It's the things that shift
When no one's home
Well, you may be on your own
But you'll never be alone
Yes, we all live here
But it's no one's home