The Stupendium - Rest Employed lyrics

One-fifty one-thousand
Six-hundred people die every day on Earth
And if that's not a reason to cry
Well, it's an awful lot of paperwork
It's your first day at work
How've you settled in?
Shaken off the rigor mortis? Sorted
Out your pencil tin?
Welcome to our newest resident skeleton
What better heaven than a desk
To spend forever in? Now, your body may be
Shrivelled up and worthless
At least we know your funeral
Will be a civil service
Persons so superfluous are living
On the surface it's nothing so perturbing
We're just trimming off the surplus
It isn't murder if you
Cause a little accident
We prefer to word it as
Some "mortal middle management"
There's the door
We've got millions of applicants
Dying for some corporate
Incorporeal entanglement


Everything living has to die
But to die, you need not apply
We'll find you when your time's through
Take a number, wait in line
Live your life and we'll be right behind you
Nothing's certain but death and taxes
So I guess you'd better get some practice
Nothing's certain but death and taxes
So I guess you'd better
So I guess you'd better

You've got targets to prove yourself
Here's some targets, peruse yourself
Shoo a few humans off the
Mortal shelf to the floor
We'll be polishing the coffins as
You off a couple more
We need a botanist, two paleontologists
A newspaper columnist whose views
May be communist
A shoe salesman, possible balloon hobbyist
Just another couple popped clogs
For your shopping list
No slacking on the grave packing
Ever more to kill death row deplorables
Incurables and "sort of ill" every person
Animal and plant has a form to fill
We've got departments solely tasked
With killing chlorophyll so, of course
You will toe the lifeline and behave
Or you'll be filing dandelions before
You've had your tea break
Humanity's in balance
If that balance isn't repaid
Interns can be inhumed and replaced


Everything living has to die
But to die, you need not apply
We'll find you when your time's through
Take a number, wait in line
Live your life and we'll be right behind you
Nothing's certain but death and taxes
So I guess you'd better get some practice
Nothing's certain but death and taxes
So I guess you'd better
So I guess you'd better

Ashes to ashes, nine to five
The light in the tunnel has been privatised
Robes were so behind the times
These obituaries don't give any
Time for scythes
Population moderation's not the worst fate
Your occupation's the salvation of
The hearse trade for generations
We've been racing for the first place
But we've spent the centuries in
Second to the birth rate

Everything living has to die
But to die, you need not apply
We'll find you when your time's through
Take a number, wait in line
Live your life and we'll be right behind you
Nothing's certain but death and taxes
So I guess you'd better get some practice
Nothing's certain but death and taxes
So I guess you'd better
So I guess you'd better


Dearly indentured
We are gathered here today to pay tribute
To the life of the departed
And to welcome him to the office
May he rest employed