Jon Lajoie - Fuck Everything lyrics

Yo, other rappers claim to not give a fuck
Well, step aside, bitches
'Cause I give the lowest amount
Of fuck humanly possible, what

(I don't give a fuck)
About anything, fuck everyone
And fuck everything, what
(I don't give a fuck)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

I don't give a fuck
About motherfuckin' anything
People care about shit, I say
"Fuck everything"
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees
Fuck the sun, I don't need heat or vitamin D
And fuck toasters
I don't need to cook my bread
And fuck coasters
I use a little plate instead
And fuck roosters
With your useless "cock-a doodle doo"
We invented alarm clocks
We no longer need you
Don't give a fuck about chairs
I prefer to stand and fuck air conditioners
I got a ceiling fan
And fuck the movie The Fan
Starring Wesley Snipes
Demolition Man is the only
Snipes movie I like and fuck likin' shit
I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a fuck about not likin'
All the shit I don't like
Like tissues, fuck 'em
I'll blow my nose on the couch
And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell
I breathe through my mouth
Don't give a fuck about seeing, bitch
Fuck my eyes fuck visual perception, yo
I'd rather be blind and fuck time
Seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
And hours are way too long
They should be half an hour at most
And fuck coasts, don't give a fuck about
Where water meets land
And fuck boats just 'cause you float
You think you're so fuckin' bad?
And fuck jokes
I don't need to be funny all the time
My dog has a tumor and
He's probably gonna die, but

(I don't give a fuck)
About anything, fuck everyone
And fuck everything, what
(I don't give a fuck)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup
The girl said, "Small, medium or
Large?" I said, "Bitch
I don't give a fuck!" she said
"I can't process your order if
You don't pick a size"
I said, "Fine, I'll take a large, but
I still don't give a fuck, alright?!"
Don't give a fuck about
Beverage size options, motherfucker
And I don't give a fuck about liquids, either
They're all wet and shit and tend
To spill all over the place
Like human semen when I get
It all over my face i'm not gay
I just don't give a fuck about straight sex
And fuck my dick
I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead
And fuck biological functions
Fuck the human body
I prefer the body of a bat
And the head of a coyote
I call myself "Batyote" and I
Fight crime at night
I know it's similar to Batman
But motherfuck copyright
I plagiarize all the time, I do it every day
'Cause I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way and fuck birth
Enterin' the world of space and
Time is a bitch searchin' for purpose in the
Random universe sucks dick
Is it deterministic or am I
Free to choose my way?
Did I choose to not give a
Fuck about ice cube trays? If I want ice
I'll go to the fuckin' corner
Store and buy a bag
Fillin' you up and waitin' for the water
To freeze is a motherfuckin' drag
You know what? Fuck the word "fuck
" I don't need to use it
I'll replace it with the word
"chainsaw" for this chorus

(I don't give a chainsaw)
About anything, chainsaw everyone
And chainsaw everything, what
(I don't give a chainsaw)
I literally don't give a
Chainsaw 'bout anything

If there were a contest to see who
Doesn't give a fuck the most
I wouldn't win 'cause I don't
Give a fuck about winnin', yo
And don't even give a fuck
About not givin' a fuck
So I do give a fuck wait, what?

(I give a fuck)
About everything, I love everyone
And care about everything, what
(I give a fuck) i literally care about
Every motherfuckin' thing