Jon Lajoie - Started As a Baby lyrics

Yo! Uh!
Motherfuckers out there be talking about
Started from the bottom
Starting with nothing, ha!
Y'all don't know shit!
That don't compare to the struggle
I had to go through
Y'all better recognize, motherfuckers!
Cause me

I started as a baby a tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh now look at me
I started as a baby a tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh now look at me

When everybody look at me, yo
They can tell that I'm a grown-up
Six-foot-one, facial hair
With the coffee cup
People saying 'whassup' when they see
Me on the block
Cause they know I'm an adult and
I know how to talk
But back in the day I couldn't talk
I was a baby
I didn't even know what English was
It sounds crazy i couldn't even walk
My baby legs were way too weak
Look at me now communicating on my two feet
And eating solid foods whenever
The fuck I want celery, broccoli, spaghetti
Smokey cheese and croissant but y'all
When I was a newborn child it wasn't this way
Breast milk was the only food
My stomach could take
Because I didn't have teeth, motherfucker
I couldn't chew bitch, look at me now
I'm fucking biting into fresh fruit
Saying 'Fuck you' to all
The haters talking shit
Who say I was never a baby
I was born like this
Bitch, just because you see me
Sitting on a toilet
Don't mean I don't know what it's like to
Feel a diaper with a load of shit

I started as a baby a tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh now look at me

I drive to work every day to
Go make some dollar bills
The reason I can do this is
Cause I have basic motor skills
Which I developed over time, but, yo
Back in the day
This shit was way too complicated
For my tiny baby brain
No comprehension of the concept
Of motorized transportation
Didn't even understand the concept
Of changing locations
In the car seat, the stroller, yo
I didn't give a fuck
Just as long as when I cried
I had a titty to suck but I come a long way
Today I drive my own car
As a baby I never thought I
Would make it this far
Contemplating the future was
Literally impossible
A dearth of empirical knowledge can
Be a huge obstacle
But being born a baby didn't stop me
I am not a quitter
I kept being alive, so over time
My body got bigger
Life experience and education helped
Develop my brain
Look at me now, I'm a grown-up
Things done changed!

I started as a baby a tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh now look at me

Being a baby wasn't easy
But it made me who I am
If you were never a baby
Well, you wouldn't understand
It sounds crazy, but before being a baby
I was split in half (two parts)
Half in my mom, the other half
Was in my dad's nutsack (means his testicles)

That's right, bitch
I even used to be microscopic
Shot out of my dad's dick into mom's uterus
Nine months later I was sucking
On my mom's tit
Thirty years later I recorded
This fucking hit!

I started as a baby a tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh now look at me

Oh, yeah i'm getting paper!
Shit, when I was a baby
I didn't even know what paper was
I didn't even know that you could
Exchange it for goods and services
I didn't even know what
Goods and services were
What about you, MC Vagina?
(When I was a baby
I didn't even know that owning a lot of guns
Was the best thing you could do for safety
When I was a baby, I was sooo stupid)