Jon Lajoie - Slightly Irresponsible lyrics

I am slightly irresponsible
Girl, don't let that scare you away
'Cause I am still reliable
Just not a hundred percent, baby

Sometimes I fall asleep without
Brushing my teeth
And I only floss approximately twice a week
I don't return phone calls all the time
Unless it's my boss
I want to stay on his good side
I always pay my credit cards on time
But irresponsibly I'd make minimum payments
Once in a while also I think I may
Have accidentally killed someone
I'm not sure if they died, it was a hit'n'run
I am slightly irresponsible
Girl, don't let that scare you away
'Cause I am still reliable
Just not a hundred percent, baby

When I park my car
Sometimes I leave the windows open
That's how I got my Blackberry charger stolen
But I didn't really care, I had a second one
That my friend gave me when he
Bought his iPhone last month
I'm glad no one's noticed the
Dent in my front bumper
When I got home that night
There was blood all over
And in the grille there were bit's of face
Hair and bone i cleaned the car when made
Sure nobody followed me home

I am slightly irresponsible
I wonder if that person had a family
But I am still reliable
But the guilt's eating away at me

Sometimes I'm a day late paying my rent
And sometimes I forget the
Birthdays of my friends
Apparently they don't have any
Suspects thus far
But they know he was killed by a Camry
Luckily for me that's a common car
But there was one witness:
A seventy-nine-year-old lady
I need to kill her
She's the only one who can identify me
So I break into her house to kill her
But then things get messy
I didn't realize that her
Son's family was visiting

I am slightly irresponsible
(Ah shit, Hey, who the fuck are you?)
But I am still reliable (Shut the fuck up)
I am slightly irresponsible
(shut up! shut up) but I am still reliable
(What have I done? What have
I done? Oh my god, what have I done?)