Schäffer the Darklord - A Very Bad Man lyrics

Schaffer: Hello, Schaffer
Erin: Hi, I'm Erin
Schaffer: Erin? It's a pleasure
To meet you Erin
Erin: Oh, likewise! I'm a big, big fan!
And let me just say
You we're amazing tonight!
Schaffer: Aww thank you so much
You're far too kind erin: Oh
I mean it i think you're incredible!
Schaffer: I truly appreciate that it's been
A pleasure meeting you
Now could you excuse me for just a moment
Erin: Of course, Mr Schaffer
Schaffer: Thank you

Now, when I came and shook your hand
Did you get the feeling that
You'd been introduced to a nice man? And
Did my eye contact and winning
Smile leave you disarmed?
Were you taken by my charm?

Well, it was all bull-shit oooh, Snap!
My nice guy act is just that, an act
You sap! You're a savvy as a child
God, I wear a sheep suit
Tailored for a wild dog
As I hawk an "Aww Shucks"
Routine which you've been buyin
The Trojan horse bait'n switch
Which behind, I hide a vile id driven demon
With no remorse or feelins'
Only give a shit about one guy
And he is me and I can't stand my friends
Don't respect my fans
I'm a devil on another level
You can't understand
Such a cad I oughta rock a
Fanny pack and a doo rag
Ooh man, I'm a total douche bag

Yeah and all the people go
"Please just say it isn't so
You're really so nice! Right, Bro?"
No, I'm a bad man
I'm a very bad man (Hah, ha)
I'm a very very bad bad man
And all my people see only
What they wanna see
Trust me, you don't wanna trust me
'Cause, see, I'm a bad man
I'm a very bad man (Suckers)
I'm a very very bad bad man

Look you in the eye and I
Will chuckle while you weep
Spend the night and I'll slip dollars
Out your wallet while you sleep
I'll take a sex tape
Maybe one that me and an ex made
Digitize it
Get it on the internet the next day
Call her up and ask her if
She wants to get back together
Whatever she says I'll giggle that
Her sister was better
Never keep a secret, nor an allegiance
And, yeah
I'll gladly do a dance around a paraplegic
Children scream in fear when I'm
Near I'm guessin' maybe it's
'Cause I explain the Santa myth to
Little kids I baby sit
I don't believe in god
I won't ever go to heaven
And I think I might've even
Had a hand in 9/11 and I got a lot of
Hey, wait, whoa, what? Too soon?
Quit your crying boo Hoo
You don't like it? Screw you
And you too, all of you you fell for a trick
You're even worse than me
'cause you admire me and I'm a prick!

And everybody I've ever met begins to cry
They realize I'm not a nice guy and that
I'm a bad man i'm a very bad man
I'm a very very bad bad man
And every friend and fan I've
Ever had is very sad
They've all been had by a bad scam
Damn, I'm a bad man! I'm a very bad man
Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, BadMan!

I've never paid a compliment
I actually meant you know I've never done a
Thing without malicious intent
'Cause I'm detestable, despicable
My ways'll make you sick until
You can't believe you ever spoke to me
I'm a miserable back stabber
And all of my colleagues are bad rappers
Diss 'em to their fans heckle them mad
And ask 'em, "What's the matter?"
Crack an AIDs joke all
Of y'all'll call appalling
I punched an eight year old in the mouth
For talking during Wall-E
While I'm making great joy
I toy with other people's lives
Cheatin' on my marriage with
My best friend's wife
I relish breaking bad news to
Rooms of cancer patients
Explain to babies where they come from
With some illustrations
One day you'll heed these words
And stay away from me
But for now your all just fawning
Fans who buy my CDs
I'm a cheat, a thief, a user
You know this is true or is it?
'Cause I'm kind of a compulsive liar, too

And all the people go
"Please just say it isn't so
You're really so nice! Right, Bro?"
No, I'm a bad man
I'm a very bad man (You gonna cry?)
I'm a very very bad bad man
And all my people see only
What they wanna see
Trust me, you don't wanna trust me
'Cause, see, I'm a bad man
I'm a very bad man (Fuck you)
I'm a very very bad bad man

Erin: Ah oh - kay