Schäffer the Darklord - Your Band lyrics

Oh man, you were awesome tonight
Thanks dude, thanks a lot
Yeah, you should come check
Out my band sometime yeah, I'll uh do that
Here
Oh, flyer for your band when you playing?
Next Friday oh, great I'll be-
Yeah, and I brought this
Oh, it's a sticker for your band
Yeah and I brought you a cd too
Oh, cd thanks, I'll listen to it
Well, you think maybe you could
Listen to it right now?
You want to listen to it right now?
Yeah, I got a disc man right here (Sigh)

So you're in a band too?
No shit? What do you play? Really?
Cool, cool you know that maybe some day
In November our schedule's better
We could do a show together
We go really well together great, great
I'll call ya later shoo

Ruthless! Truth is
Schmoozing me's useless
You're wasting your time and
You're just being a nuisance
And you knew this
Long before you came up toting
Your three-song cassette demo
Enthusiastics on promote
Showboating me moping
A sense of half aloof devotion
I took a step off stage
And you were robbing of that moment
All dude that was awesome i got some for you
To listen to dude you're kissing boots boo

You babble on 'bout your band
Like it's Babylon and I'm bored
You've been playing ten years?
You want a fucking reward? You see
It seems that everyone i know
Is in a band, man you're in a scene
Doesn't mean i need to shake your hand
And i wouldn't expect it from you
But then I'd never do
By networking with a band
When they stop off stage into
Fucking spare me your best bit
Don't fucking send me your press kit
And don't ever call and if I never call
Well i guess it means i'm not
Interested in your band and that's all
But don't push it or I'll use my weight
And get you black balled
From every club in town back down
You fucking clown or you'll never even play
A Monday night at the pound

You lack tact and act wack
Your backpack is so filthy and
You're covered in t-shirts and ball caps
That say Zildjian like, "Dude!
I'll bet you couldn't guess
That i'm a drummer!"
You're dumber than a bag of rubbers
Pity, pity such a bummer

Last summer you wimp
I saw a band in Olympia tattooed
Little dudes with rude attitudes
It was simply atrocious the shitty shit shit
That Shelly showed us
Then afterwards they said dude
Let's do a show in Frisco this fall
We'll call i'm Paul
And I'll be the contact
We're thinking bottom of the hill
Could you get on that? Could you feed us
It's for it's just after check-in
And could you find another band
That'd wanna play second?

And you know what i told him? What? say it

Fuck you and your band
Fuck you and your band what part of
"Fuck you and your band"
Can't you understand, man?
This is exactly the kinda shit
I can't stand fuck you and your band
God damn

However

When we were up north
And we played with these dorks they broke
Every code of ethics of fork
We were torqued like
They sat in their van
While my band was on stage
And took with them their fans
Who were half underage

Their drummer was sound man he ran the PA
So there was feedback
In the monitors and vocal delay
And we sold nothing! Cause no one
Was there when we played
And their guitarist did door
We didn't get paid

And now these little bitches
Want a show in my town?
I'd rather walk a mile
Of cap street in a night gown
If I ever see these fuckers again
There's gonna be a battle
That'll send 'em back
To their little suburb of Seattle

Clutching a rattle in a crib
In a bib bare butt
Your hair cut looks like a
Dye jet-black andy Gibb
Ribbing your best solo
Watching your tricks fall
Ripping your press photo
The one with the brick wall

I'm so sick of your bands
Your fans your shows
Your pose your tours
Your hordes your faces
Your bassist your kids
Your split's your records
Your techs your steer
Your gear your pants
Your tables your labels
Your comp your pomp
Your red light your website
Your KISS make-up fucking just break up

Fuck you and your band
Fuck you and your band what part of
"Fuck you and your band"
Can't you understand, man?
This is exactly the kinda shit
I can't stand fuck you and your band
God damn

However

Fuck you and your band
Fuck you and your band what part of
"Fuck you and your band"
Can't you understand, man?
This is exactly the kinda shit
I can't stand fuck you and your band
God damn

Unh