Schäffer the Darklord - Craig’s List lyrics

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
And which is worse
A good idea that fails or
A bad one with legs?
To be terse, your pardon I beg
This first verse is the story
Of a boy named Craig
Newmark, whose arc did start while
Parked at a job
Doing computer security for Charles Schwab
In '94 the bubble was still just
A little glob of bubble gum
And no one knew the trouble'd come
Craig was among the elite geek e-community
The few proud who traded data electronically
And to all his friends with
Which he shared such cameraderie
He would send out a list of
Events that he wanted to see
And that's how it all got started
His idea hatched, took flight and departed


Not so much a revolution as an e-solution
Then a friend said "Can I use
The list to rent my apartment?"
And another said "I'd like to sell
My car on your list"
"And I'd like to find that girl
From the party I kissed"
Another one tried to find the
Watch knocked off his wrist
And another found a temp gig
As an admin assist

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's makin' a list (who?)
He's makin' a list (Craig?)
He's makin' a list (yeah)

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's makin' a list (who?)
He's makin' a list (Craig?)
He's makin' a list (yeah)

Well, before you know it
It exploded overnight
What was once a list was now a website
But to his nerd values, Craig did stay true
Gave some jobs to his friends
Refused all advertising too
And what's so great is that
The users really run it
Actin' like God, c'mon
Everybody's done it!
You're readin' the list
You check a suspicious ad
And like a citizen's arrest you click
And give it a flag
Miscategorized ads are sent for review
As well as the spam, which is prohibited too
Craig has faith
You will behave with civility
Although the list is still
Rife with illegal activity

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's makin' a list (who?)
He's makin' a list (Craig?)
He's makin' a list (yeah)

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's makin' a list (who?)
He's makin' a list (Craig?)
He's makin' a list (yeah)

Get a job or a haircut, sublet your house
Buy a stolen bicycle, cheat on your spouse
Hire an intern, post your resume
Find a kinky pen pal you can IM all day
Sell some concert tickets
(click it) buy some used skis
Give or get a blowjob, maybe a disease
Find a bassist for your band and
Then post up a show
Find a speed or coke dealer
Searching Tina or Snow
Find homes for puppies
Have phone sex with yuppies
See pics of erections
Or place a missed connection
Find your lost journal and find
A ride to Burning Man
Or find an LTR in a personal ad
Buy yourself some bootleg DVDs
Find a horny tweaker for some PNP
Log on after 3 when all the users are usin'
And the list is all electronic cruisin'
Join a study group or a community garden
Find a leather nipple pain pig
And beg his pardon
Post in a forum, find you a ride share
Activity partners, is right above child care
I'd like to thank Craig for all of his aid
In finding me roommates and a
Job that well paid
I placed up an ad for ten days, it stayed
And I'm afraid that Craig's list
Has even gotten me laid
Women seeking women seeking men seeking other
Seeking friends of Susan seeking
Her long-lost brother
Seeking work, seeking rooms, seeking a fling
Seeking out the god damn weirdest things
Anything you can think, including dirty deeds
Use Craig's list
You're guaranteed to succeed that's right
And you just might even find it for free
Like Snoop said, "never have a want
Never have a need"

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's makin' a list (who?)
He's makin' a list (Craig?)
He's makin' a list (yeah)

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's makin' a list (who?)
He's makin' a list (Craig?)
He's makin' a list (yeah)

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's checkin' it twice (who?)
He sees you when you're sleeping (Craig?)
Cause he's up all night (yeah)

This is the only song ever written (what?)
'bout a website (who?)
Called Craigslist you write a (Craig?)
Line that rhymes with dot-org (yeah)

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's checkin' it twice (who?)
He sees you when you're sleeping (Craig?)
Cause he's up all night (yeah)

This is the only song ever written (what?)
'bout a website (who?)
Called Craigslist you write a (Craig?)
Line that rhymes with dot-org (yeah)
He's makin' a list (what?)

He's makin' a list (what?)
He's checkin' it twice (who?)
He sees you when you're sleeping (Craig?)
Cause he's up all night (yeah)

This is the only song ever written (what?)
'bout a website (who?)
Called Craigslist you write a (Craig?)
Line that rhymes with dot-org (yeah)

He's makin' a list (what?)