Schäffer the Darklord - H-Mail lyrics

Schaffer the Darklord
Fucking Schaffer the Darklord
I god I just- I hate that guy so much
I'm going to write him a letter and tell him
Dear Schaffer the darklord
You fucking suck dude
And I can't wait for your
Little career to end
No need to read it back or spell check it
Fuck it, click send go

All of my friends
They think that Schaffer's so great
(so great)
Half of them even have him in their top eight
(top eight) i anxiously await a date
When fate will place us face-to-face
To tell that fake how much I hate him
But today I'll use Myspace
And I'll place lots of comments
Up on his page A flame war I will rage hell


Fill his box with h mail
Trash his name and bash him
All across the internets on every domain
Which Google traces back to his name
My disdain for this man overflows to his fans
It's time I educate these idiots
The best that I can
They're so amused by his abuse of rap music
I'll have to craft a diss track
Added just to prove there is nothing to it
I'll hit my four foot bong
I'll flip my four track on
Then I'll rant on and on
Until I've written this song
I'll dedicate it to him
Stewing in my seething hatred
Mail it to him, Schaffer
I fucking hate you dude
And now you're ruined do it

I hate you Schaffer
And it's time I let you know just how much
Your music's stupid
And your rhymes, your beats
Your flows they all suck
Who are these people?
Do these geeks believe you're evil?
That's fucked
You're just a goofy douche bag
You could use a good smack
Up against the head
When will you give it up?
When will you give it up?

Hey hey star what's up bro?
I read your bio
I see you're making big moves
Out there in Ohio
Or Idaho, man, I don't know whatever
Hick bum fuck town you must be trapped in
Sorry dude, it must suck
Anyhow champ, listen up i got some advice
About your little rap career
If I were you I'd think twice
First off you're a fan man
And fans can never make it
You gotta be a real man in this rap game
If you wanna take it
I never listen to nobody but my own shit
Nobody rock it like my own boys my own click
We all got big dicks and
Huge shirts and fitted hats
You look like a hipster
What kind of shit is that?
You ain't a b-boy boy rocking a mustache
Them brown pants will get your
Ass whipped real fast
There ain't no real graff art
Up on your profile
When I be posing for a picture never no smile
You smile way too much makes you look gay
What kind of wack bullshit did your hook say?
You read a book? Yay! You won't get no play
Either from the ladies or my
IPod there's no way
You're a white boy with gay friends
And really at the day's end
Your street cred is zero out of ten
Put down the pen I got this game locked
Holla at your boy

I know you're dying
Know you're crying on a shoulder
Know you read my letter
Cause I checked the sent folder
It ain't over
I've got an arsenal of vitriol
To blast at you from twenty two new digs
On you and youtube, you
Pitifully chicken shit
Insipid dickless idiot you shitty spitting
Little bitching sissy quit your hissy fit
A hack with a backpack
As wack as a fanny pack
Your sack of crap act
Makes me wanna yak, fact
No one likes your trite, boring
Poorly written, white flow go away tonight
Why don't you throw away your mic, so
Fucking unfunny dummy
You wanna make fun of me?
You're nothing but another
Eminem and Weird Al wannabe
And as a hip-hop-head I defend the culture
I say your act is racist
Face it Schaffer you're a vulture
A dozen thumbs down on ten tracks
Do the math i'm your number last fan
And at last you'll feel my wrath

I hate you Schaffer
And it's time I let you know just how much
Your music's stupid
And your rhymes, your beats
Your flows, they all suck
Who are these people?
Do these geeks believe you're evil?
That's fucked
You're just a goofy douche bag
You could use a good smack
Up against the head
When will you give it up?
When will you give it up

So Schaffer, hey
Since I've shown you the way
I'm sure that now your towel will
Now be thrown in any day
No doubt, I'm out now
I've covered all I've had to say
Later days Schaffe - oh, wait
PS, you're gay

Pwned!