Schäffer the Darklord, MC Lars - Monsters of Rock lyrics

Hey, MC Lars! What's that, Schaffer?
We're making the band! Yeah!
Literally

Lars that's-that's a good pun
In an attempt to assemble
The ultimate quintet
The rock world or any world has seen yet
We met and schemed a way that we could
Get the best of the best
But in the end we had to settle
For the bit's that were left we got nauseous
The stench of rotten flesh inside the coffins
Of Keith Moon, Buddy Rich
Mitch Mitchell, John Bohnam
We got 'em up, chopped 'em up
And sewed them together
Creating what would surely become
The greatest drummer ever but wait this
Drummer needs a bassist, this is
When we dug up Dee Dee, Cliff Burton
And Sid Vicious rick James, Dave Blood
Pieced them all into one
Two abominations built
But we'd barely begun
We needed more of this
For a keyboardist, so we got the bodies
Of John Lennon, Ray Charles, even Liberace
Before completion of the resurrection
We reckon
We need some leads for this rhythm section
We got

A couple shovels a cart for haulin'
We going robbin' for rock stars coffins
A little thread an electric shock and
They're alive! Our monsters are rockin'

Moving on, Schaffer, this part's the hardest
The parts that we harvest
Now form our guitarist
Hendrix, Robert Johnson
That guy from Hawthorne Heights
A bit of Randy Rhoads from
His final crazy flight
Ty Longley from Great White? His
Hands are too crispy
Let's open that FedEx sent
From Corpus Christi it's Selena, our singer
We've been dreaming of you
Pass me that hacksaw, we've got work to do
Yo Schaffer!

Yes Lars?
Hand me Eazy-E's tongue you don't want HIV
Wash your hands when you're done
Check out GG Allin's torso but
Try not to laugh
At the tattoos that he copied from
His first grade art class
We're dusting skull fragments from
Kurt Cobain's garage
Picking up the teeth from
Dimebag Darrell's shattered jaw
It's not easy going out with
A bullet to the face
When your last is a gun-shot
Then all it takes is

A couple shovels a cart for haulin'
We going robbin' for rock stars coffins
A little thread an electric shock and
They're alive! Our monsters are rockin'

Must have forgotten
That monsters rarely answer to masters
Our band's first slash last gig
Turned into disaster fast
Joey and Johnny Ramone's
Bones weren't compatible
And Johnny Thunder's leg kicked Johnny
Cash's ass and all

Then we mixed 2Pac's neck
With Biggie's hands he choked himself out
Now he can barely stand
Our band's still infamous and
They're hunger starved
Let's try again with some younger stars

Maybe Amy Winehouse
The late British soul diva
But she isn't dead yet!
That gives me an idea
DJ AM survived some turbulence
How about Pete Wentz? Who?
Haven't you heard of them?
The kid's use a lot of auto tune
But not a lot of heart
I guess Wal-Mart culture discourages art
Dead-eyed lifeless stars are
Rising the charts
Next time we restart with more talented parts

A couple shovels a cart for haulin'
We going robbin' for rock stars coffins
A little thread an electric shock and
They're alive! Our monsters are rockin'
Punk rock's dead no pogo hoppin'
Death to false metal do the monster mosh and
Hip-hop's gone stop all the bottle poppin'
But we're alive!

Our monsters are rocking!
(My creation is it real?
You're my creation i do not know
No hesitation no heart of gold
Just flesh and blood i do not know)