Schäffer the Darklord - Nerd Lust lyrics

Gasp you're that nerd!
God, you're wonderful! Are all nerds
As good as you? Yes
How come?
Cause all jocks think about is sports
All we ever think about is sex

L-L-L Ladies and gentlewomen
Lend me your ear
I love every last one of you
I wanna be clear
It doesn't necessarily mean that
I'm some fetishist freak
But if I had to pick a favorite
It would have to be geeks

Oh those nerdy girls those oh so purdy girls
The wordy girls that love a joke
Only-if-it's-dirty girls the flirty girls
The blue jeans and t-shirty girls
The Bert and Ernie girls?


The pearls of the world

I see you in every venue, city, and state
You're often awfully awkward
Baby, I can relate
When I play "Cat People" live
And in your town
You're the one in the crowd
Howling, "Meow! Meow! Meow!"

Tell me 'bout your kitties
Do they fill you with laughter?
And which cartoon characters did
You name them after?
House is full of stacks of dvd's and cd's
You've seen Star Wars even more
Times than me

Like me, you find summer a bummer
You've been bummed since the finale of
Six Feet Under
Another number bombed hard at my show
But you got it
You got a closet full of skeletons
You bought at Hot Topic

Can I ride your bike?
I like ringing the bell
I know you'll dance to hip-hop
If you're drunk as hell
I know that on a date
No one will talk about sports
And if you do have a thong on
It's under boxer shorts

How many Smiths' tunes can you recite?
And which of your blogs
Do you most frequently write?
Which sci-fi languages can you understand?
And which instrument did you play in your
High school band?

So many ways our similarities are eerie
We share so many
Paranoid conspiracy theories
You're watching Twin Peaks
You know all the characters' names
Quoting Aqua Teen and playing video games

I couldn't care less
About your height or your size
If your IQ's high and you've got four eyes
Twelve sided dice elf dies
And I'm lovin' it
Not hot in spite of bein' a geek
But because of it

Nerds Nerds i love those nerds
Shallow, vapid, model types are for the birds
Now let me see you shake it (Nerds X 8)
(come on) shake your inhaler baby
Freaks and Geeks you make me crazy

Nerds Nerds i love those nerds
Smug, aloof, hipster types are for the birds
Now let me see you shake it (Nerds X 8)
Shake your inhaler baby freaks and Geeks
Make me so crazy

Yeah girl i was uh
I was thinkin' about comin' over later
With a box of white wine
And a bottle of grape Snapple
And I made this portrait of you out of Legos

You're lookin' goody in a dirty hoodie
Let me see is that an
"Ask Me About My SAT"
Pin on your backpack strap?
That speaks to me we pass hours
Dungeon master powers d&D

Your new animated avatar looks hot
Wait i got great big goosebumps
I made your top eight great, great
I left a dozen comments
All of them flattering
Like when we kiss girl it's like Magic
The Gathering

Come a little closer girl
No need to be frightened i'm not gonna bite
I'm just a little near-sighted you are too?
Ooh this ain't gonna hurt
I wanna see your silhouette
In your Strong Bad shirt

Our glasses clink when we nuzzle
Organic milk we both guzzle
A couple hot nerds
Pourin' over crossword puzzles
Fillin' letters wearin' sweaters
In any weather forever
Feel the books of the Lord of the Rings
Were better

You and me girl are gonna have some fun
We'll play Simpsons chess
Then watch season one hours of Risk, tisk
We'll quit when we're done
And with the sun comes a Daily Show rerun

I brought my high school yearbook
You wanna see what I looked like
Back in nineteen-ninety-three?
I was skinny and pasty
And I had terrible hair and still do
You too?
Do you still have high school nightmares?

Were you a loner dark and brooding
Cruising through school anonymous?
Or were you on debate team
Hanging with the drama kids?
Did you take shop?
Did the jocks call you Tom?
Did you ever dream of
Blowing up a bomb at the prom?

Nerds Nerds i love those nerds
Shallow, vapid, model types are for the birds
Now let me see you shake it (Nerds X 8)
(come on) shake your inhaler baby
Freaks and Geeks you make me crazy

Nerds Nerds i love those nerds
Smug, aloof, hipster types are for the birds
Now let me see you shake it (Nerds X 8)
Shake your inhaler baby freaks and Geeks
Make me so crazy

I've loved every last nerdy girl
That's been in my life
So much in fact i even made one my wife
And my wife's name is also STD
Which stands for Schaffer the Doctor
Cause she's a PhD

I love you dorks i love you geeks
Oh how I love you nerds oh
Although for this last verse
I didn't write words so I'll go

Meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow meow
Girl meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow and i'm out