Stephen Lynch - Beelz lyrics

I figured since I wrote a song about you
Know God and Jesus and all that
I’d have to give the uh
Opposition equal time

Ever since first man has walked this
Earth I have been here
To whisper seeds of doubt and
Evil thoughts into his ear i am the beast
The outcast angel fallen from on high
I go by many names
But there is one you can’t deny

My name is Satan hi everybody
Uh, let me tell you a little bit about myself

My friends all call me old scratch
And I am a Capricorn
My turn-ons are romantic walks
And killing the unborn
I’ve got little devil horns
And a little goatee
And little devil eyes to help
A little devil see
And little cloven hooves make it
Kinda hard to ski i’m Satan
Woohoo

Mephistopheles for some, I don’t know

My real name is Beelzebub
But, you can call me Beelz
I love to watch Fox News then
Go club some baby seals
Then I’ll take a bubble bath
And drink a Zinfandel
Try to wash off that baby seal smell
And then I’ll make a toast to me
Hey, here’s to my heal- th

My name is Satan
To carry on my evil ways I went and had a son
And now he makes his living
As a singing comedian
I’m in every Zeppelin album
I’m in all Rush Limbaugh’s rants
I’m the reason that the Boston Red
Sox even had a chance
And if I want to eat your soul
I’ll just throw it on the griddle
No need to make a deal I
Don’t need to tell a riddle
And fuck Charlie Daniels I don’t care
If you can fiddle I’m Satan
Devil went down to Georgia he was
Looking for a soul to steal
That’s fucking bullshit because I would not
Be caught dead in Georgia
Okay, it’s like oh my God six six six
Satan

Look that’s just how I picture him
You fucking think of whatever you want