Stephen Lynch - Waiting lyrics

It's out of my hands
And all I can do is wait
It's the not knowing that has
Put me in this state
The minutes feel like hours
The tension is too great
I've done my part so now it's
In the hands of fate

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
Shouldn't have fucked that prostitute
Without a prophylactic
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
Regret is dripping from me like
My semen down her crack, and now I wait
My nerves they have been frayed
My pants they have been shat
I know the nurse will say 'It's
Time to have a chat'
At least I'll never worry about getting fat
I should think positive
No wait! I didn't say that

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
I never should have blown that
Tranny in my Cadillac
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
I just had to taste that sweet
Forbidden nectar from his sack
And now I wait

Is it over, will my jersey be retired?
Will my name stitched upon
A quilt be required?
Did I make a difference
Was my life inspired?
Will Denzel Washington defend me
When I'm fired?

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
Eating assholes shouldn't be an aphrodisiac
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back
If I'm clean I swear to God
I will stop shooting smack probably

Boys and girls don't be naive
Take it from your Uncle Steve
AIDS cares not who it affects
Caught from unprotected sex
Sharing needles, blood or spit
Or piss, or semen, even shit
From handshakes, sneezes, toilet seats
From monkey bites and uncooked meat

From dirty coins and dread-locked hair
From certain children in day care
Drinking water, breathing air
I tell you AIDS is everywhere

Oh God I can't take any more
I think I'll run right out that door
But wait the nurse comes straight away
Tell me, what does my test say?

I'M OKAY! I'M OKAY!
It's just chlamydia!