Stephen Lynch - Bowling Song lyrics

You watch me on your TV
Say that my job is easy
Say I am not athletic
You think my sport's pathetic

But, you can't judge me 'til
You've walked a mile in my bowling shoes

So I don't get all the ladies
Got a mullet from the 80's
I'm known throughout the valleys as
The prophet of alleys

And as I roll the ball I cry
"Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god
The smell of rosin gets my high
Kiss those fuckin' pins goodbye!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling bowling god
Got a ball that's smooth and all black
I keep it in my favorite ball sack


I get a feeling in my soul
As I finger every hole

And as I roll the ball I cry
"Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god
The smell of rosin gets my high
Kiss those motherfuckin' pins goodbye!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling bowling

Not a single man will try
To beat Almighty Malachi
All who challenge me are
Slain come on fuckers, pick a lane
Marshall Holman and Gary Dickens
Get in line for your ass kickins'
John Petraglia and Norm Duke you're so lame
It makes me puke
Who amongst the pro-bowl sector dares
To don his wrist protector?
Not that pussy Nelson Burton
Tells me that his wrist is hurtin'
Hey Mark Roth, hey Earl the Pearl
Are ya' scared to give the ball a hurl?
How bout' Dickey Weber and his son Pete
I'll turn the motherfuckas to Cream of Wheat!

And as I roll the ball I cry
"Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god
The smell of rosin gets me high
Kiss those fuckin' pins goodbye!
I'm Almighty Malachi
The bowling bowling god!
Yeah, the bowling god