Stephen Lynch - D&D lyrics

Harmonica more harmonica

I got my 12-sided die and I'm ready to
Roll with a wizard and my goblin crew
My friends are coming over to my mom's
Basement bringing Funyuns and
The Mountain Dew
I got a big broadsword made outta cardboard
And that stereo's a-pumping Zeppelin
Dazed and Confused
It's that time of the night we
Turn on the black light
Let the Dungeons and the Dragons begin
It’s D&D fighting' with the legends of yore
It’s D&D never kissed a lady before
Nope, I said it whoo!

C’mon you gonna bring the thunder
Bring the fucking thunder
C’mon bring the thunder c’mon lets go
Guitar pluck oh that’s nice


Why don’t you bring some
Thunder mother fucker
I’ll bring some thunder alright rattle

Now the Lord of the Rings
The Dark Crystal and things
We use these as a reference tool
And when we put on our
Cloaks and tell warlock jokes
We’re the coolest kids in the school
No we're not i know
Now Teich's a real bastard, but
A fair dungeon master
He's got hit points and charisma to land
And I rehearse in my room, or
What I call the dragon's tomb
When I'm not out with my girl friend
It’s D&D

Wait wait wait wait wait Teich, hold on
I'm sorry, hold on, I’m sorry
Gimme one second dude, come on
What seriously
What you got a fucking girlfriend
"Dungeon Master"
Uhh… That’s kind of a dick thing to say

It’s D&D summoning the demons of hell
It’s D&D
When our shift ends at the Taco Bell
Gordita, Chalupa

Well my medieval brother
There's room here for another
Would you care to take a roll of the die
You guys make me weep you
Think that you could
Keep up with a warrior as mighty as I
See you’re in mortal danger I’m a first class
Ranger whose half gargoyle and half elf
And if that doesn't scare you
Maybe I should be
Ware you of what lurks within my gaming shelf
Next to my junior high annual lies my monster
Manual and my customized
Dungeon masters screen
I've got treasures and traps on
My graph paper maps
Next to my three inch solid pewter figurines
So if you think you've got the
Balls bring on your dungeon
Master calls I’ll be protected by
My robe of destruction
I will leave you both in tears
Because I’m the dungeon master
Here and you two are in
Need of some instruction