Stephen Lynch - Half a Man lyrics

All my days i live with my disgrace
I'm afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear

See I was born like a half way neutered pet
I don't have a matching set
It's a part of me that just ain't there
Please, don't stare
Well I'm a gambling man without two dice
I'm like Uncle Ben with only
One grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But, I'm half a man yeah, I'm half a man

Wanna die end it all, just call it quit's
I can't find a cup that fit's
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear "ball one"?

Oh, my God how could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel


And the one that's there must feel so sad
He's a lonely man

Well I'm a marathon runner with just one leg
I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi do I have to beg?
I'm half a man

Well I'm a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And I'm a Siskel and an
Ebert with just one thumb
And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I'm just half a man yeah, I'm half a man